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posted by [personal profile] panik at 08:03pm on 18/05/2013 under

Yes, it's that time again. Willst join me in a snark fest made of purest luuurve?

And already LJ is annoying me most mightily. How can it be so slow?

So. A mighty bridge of musical magnificence. And Gray, so bitchy already? The thing hasn't even started yet. And hello Russell Brand lookalike. Who are you singing for, my pretty little friend?

Oh dear. Hellooooo!!! Is there anybody there? It's so quiet.

Romania, try singing along to that. Ah, Graham baby. You're no Terry Wogan, but I loves you all the same.

Oooh. Get you, France, all sultry and that in black leather. She seems a bit cross about something. I've forgotten too much French to know what about,  can anyone enlighten me?

But now it's Lithuania. Singing in English, predictably. ::sigh:: Who's a pretty boy, then? Thinks he is (as my Mum would have said). A bit tedious, sad to say.

Moldova. Can they possibly improve on last year's spectacular entry? Ah... it would seem not. Just another Euro song, another so-so ditty. I shall kill the time by popping to the fridge and pouring myself a fresh glass of wine...

Is anyone else going to join in? I'm getting terribly lonely. [livejournal.com profile] fluterbev...? Bueller...?

Finland. Turkey is not screening the contest because of this? oooh, I'm intrigued and mildly excited.
It's a girl kiss? Is that it? Oh Turkey, you silly beast.
This isn't all that bad really. I mean, it's not great, it's yer bog-standard Eurovision fare. Ding Dong, Boom Bang a Bang, Ding Ding a Dong. It's a girl in wedding dress and pink platforms. A boy in wedding dress and pink platforms would be more Moldovan and she's kissing a girl with short hair. Very tame indeed Turkey, you silly bitch.

Spain. A girl in a yellow frock and she's not singing in English.For that alone, I'm inclined to like it.

Still no one turned up? I guess I'd best start clearing up, emptying the ash trays and taking the bottles bottle to the recycling.

Missed a few I didn't much care for. This is no fun on your own. Hey ho... Malta - this is pretty good, best song so far by miles.

Russia. Well, that's yer winner, right there. Unless something better comes along. :)

Armenia's entry composed by Tony Lommi. Blimey. Mr Eurovision himself... ;)

Netherlands. Has her luggage gone astray? Distinct lack of Eurovision spirit if you ask me. Song's not half bad though. Refreshing and unusual.

Romania! But surely, it's a Time Lord. A falsetto Time Lord. Oh I LOVE YOU! THIS IS WHAT I'VE BEEN MISSING ALL NIGHT LONG! This is getting my vote, no doubt about it. With added, bonus WEIRD half-naked Romanian wrestlers! YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

UK. Go Bonnie! Ah.... She won't win, but she'll do her best, Gawd bless er.

Sweden's boy looks like a baby John Barrowman. Odd staging... I look forward to that.

Hungary. haven't seen them in the contest in a long time, if ever...? It's the Russell Brand lookalike boy. I warm to him already. It's a bit pulpy. He could be the Hungarian Jarvis. I like this and - singing in Hungarian. There should be  kudos points for anyone not singing in boring Eengleesh. Liked it, though it was a bit like the song from an advert for paint.

Denmark - the bookie's favourite apparently. Not doing much for me, but what do i know/

Iceland, and singing in Icelandic. Huzzah! You cheeky Viking man, you remind me of a young Rick Wakeman, without the wizard robes. Crossed with Justin Lee Collins - without the shouting and spousal abuse.

Azerbaijan. Enjoys freestyle wrestling, apparently. Is that what they call it in Azerbaijan. Ooh, he's a sultry monkey and no mistake. He looks as if he should be on the cover of a Smiths' album. he looks like a teen idol from the early 60's. Johnny Smoulder and the Firecracers. Or something. Alas his song was made of purest bland.

Greece. This is much more like it! A little like a Jewish wedding, but at least it has some life.
When are they going to start throwing the plates? I always like that bit. Alcohol is free. Ah, if only. That went down well. I'll bet Greece are crapping themselves in case they win. The cost of hosting this nonsense would be the last straw for their economy, surely?

The Ukraininan chap is 7 feet 8 inches tall. Good golly Mr Molly! Ben moaning on Twitter has he? the tinker. Song is dull though.

Italy is looking equally tedious. Nothing wrong with any of these songs, they just lack that oomph factor. Nothing fresh here, and there's been a distinct dearth of the crazy all night. At least he's not singing in English, I'll give him that.

Norway... Weird android chick singing about teh future. ::sigh:: Nothing if not literal. Not rocking my world but will do well when all the Scands start voting for each other Yes I am cynical. I've seen a lot of Eurovision Song contests, you know I speak the truth.
Pe
Penltimate song already? We are fairly ripping through tonight. Georgia. Same old.... what a tedious contedst it's een this year. Even Moldova let us down. The Falsetto beardy man from Gallifrey Romania was the only half-decent nutcase tonight. He's getting my vote anyway. Thank God that's over.

Ireland. Huzzah! Used all the baby oil on the dancers. Snerk... Oh Gray, you pervy, pervy man.

And it's over. Already. Well, that was mostly disappointing. Romania all the way for me. Any man with the chutzpa to dress like a Time Lord and sing like he's got his Hampton caught deserves douze points of anyone's money.
That's some pac a mac Loreen's wearing.
And now with the reprise, I really like the Netherlands' song, but Romania... Romania... I think I'm in luuurve.

So, did you vote? who did you vote for? Another costume change for the presenter lady and... Bonnie wowing Sweden. Bless. OK, time for the show. She looks like she's going to give us the Eton boating song, or do a Morris dance.

That. Was truly disturbing.

'He really lights up a room'. Oh Gray, such a snarky cow. Oh dear. The inevitable ABBA tribute. It's like they can't help themselves.

Votes! It's the votes! Greece, douze points! Italy's doing so much better than they deserve. No big votes for Romania yet. I knew it would be so, but am still sad.

Denmark, Denmark, Denmark. Why? I just don't get it. And once again, UK and Ireland too, are billy no mates.

Ah, Graham really doesn't like Lena does he. It's not a wipe out this year, but dear oh dear... And poor Ireland, what happened there?

ted

I'll bet the Greeks are relieved they dropped back down the voting. Ten points to Romania! Greece, you have excellent taste!

Tedious Scandinavian block voting is tedious but I'm glad to see the Netherlands getting votes, I really liked that.

The string on the can might go down... heh.

So Denmark win. ::stifles yawn:: And they've given the girl some kind of prop from Doctor Who. Whatever. I'm off to bed then. Goodnight all.XXX
There are 76 comments on this entry. (Reply.)
ext_14365: If you made this, tell me and I'll credit (South Park Me)
posted by [identity profile] fluterbev.livejournal.com at 08:00pm on 18/05/2013
I am here! I was trying to get a blog post done and posted before coming here, then my computer bloody crashed and it took me ages to get back on. Gutted. Thankfully the draft was saved and ooh er here we, hello Eurovision!

::and breathe::

Where are all the funny ones? I need funny ones. It's all too serious this year!!!
 
posted by [identity profile] gillyp.livejournal.com at 08:02pm on 18/05/2013
I know. I am seriously bored tbh. Gray is doing his best to keep it light. But Oh dear... I don;t know how much fun tis going to be anyway, just thee and me. It's very quiet in here tonight. Perhaps everyone is still recovering from Who.
ext_14365: If you made this, tell me and I'll credit (South Park Me)
posted by [identity profile] fluterbev.livejournal.com at 08:11pm on 18/05/2013
This is more like it! Go, Romania!
 
posted by [identity profile] gillyp.livejournal.com at 08:14pm on 18/05/2013
This. Is. FABULOUS!!! Falsetto bearded Time Lord Romanians FTW!
ext_14365: If you made this, tell me and I'll credit (South Park Me)
posted by [identity profile] fluterbev.livejournal.com at 08:14pm on 18/05/2013
Bonnie Tyler now. I can't think of Total Eclipse of the Heart without hearing the words of the Literal Video.
ext_14365: If you made this, tell me and I'll credit (South Park Me)
posted by [identity profile] fluterbev.livejournal.com at 08:15pm on 18/05/2013
Bonnie still can't sing. I always want to giver her a strepsil!
ext_14365: If you made this, tell me and I'll credit (South Park Me)
posted by [identity profile] fluterbev.livejournal.com at 08:19pm on 18/05/2013
The Swede is rockin' that Jedward haircut!
 
posted by [identity profile] gillyp.livejournal.com at 08:23pm on 18/05/2013
LOL. A bit so so tho. I like the look of grungy Russell brand boi
ext_14365: If you made this, tell me and I'll credit (South Park Me)
posted by [identity profile] fluterbev.livejournal.com at 08:23pm on 18/05/2013
OMG this is ace, the Hungarian beanie boy. Is that singing? I can't tell. Maybe it will get better.
ext_14365: If you made this, tell me and I'll credit (South Park Me)
posted by [identity profile] fluterbev.livejournal.com at 08:27pm on 18/05/2013
Tin whistle! And Lady Gaga!
 
posted by [identity profile] gillyp.livejournal.com at 08:30pm on 18/05/2013
Ooh, I pressed the wrong thing and nearly banned you fer spam. Denmark was OK, the favourite to win, apparently. I can't say it's lit my fire.
ext_14365: If you made this, tell me and I'll credit (South Park Me)
posted by [identity profile] fluterbev.livejournal.com at 08:30pm on 18/05/2013
Ooh, I quite fancy the Icelandic chap!
 
posted by [identity profile] gillyp.livejournal.com at 08:33pm on 18/05/2013
He looks like the love child of Rick Wakeman and Justin Lee Collins.
ext_14365: If you made this, tell me and I'll credit (South Park Me)
posted by [identity profile] fluterbev.livejournal.com at 08:35pm on 18/05/2013
Azerbeijan, I have a feeling this will meet my needs...
ext_14365: If you made this, tell me and I'll credit (South Park Me)
posted by [identity profile] fluterbev.livejournal.com at 08:35pm on 18/05/2013
No, I was entirely incorrect! Nooooo! Blandness!
ext_14365: If you made this, tell me and I'll credit (South Park Me)
posted by [identity profile] fluterbev.livejournal.com at 08:39pm on 18/05/2013
Greece, yes! Get in!
ext_14365: If you made this, tell me and I'll credit (South Park Me)
posted by [identity profile] fluterbev.livejournal.com at 08:46pm on 18/05/2013
The lady from Ukraine has a good voice. But not funny, so faillllll!
 
posted by [identity profile] gillyp.livejournal.com at 08:52pm on 18/05/2013
Bit of a pause while I went to recharge my glass. Who am I missing? Norway. Hmm....
ext_14365: If you made this, tell me and I'll credit (South Park Me)
posted by [identity profile] fluterbev.livejournal.com at 08:47pm on 18/05/2013
The Italian is just too cool for school.
 
posted by [identity profile] gillyp.livejournal.com at 09:00pm on 18/05/2013
I cannot keep up anymore. I must be getting old. Georgia was a bit yawn inducing. Ireland has a bit more life, but it's still a bit samey. I needs more madness in my eurovision.
ext_14365: If you made this, tell me and I'll credit (South Park Me)
posted by [identity profile] fluterbev.livejournal.com at 08:49pm on 18/05/2013
Ha ha, Mark Gatiss on Twitter: "Watching #Eurovision a bit behind. So far: Sontaran ships, Ood spheres and the Master's costume."
 
posted by [identity profile] gillyp.livejournal.com at 08:53pm on 18/05/2013
YES! Gatis nails it. :D
ext_14365: If you made this, tell me and I'll credit (South Park Me)
posted by [identity profile] fluterbev.livejournal.com at 08:50pm on 18/05/2013
Norway, ooh, good start!
ext_14365: If you made this, tell me and I'll credit (South Park Me)
posted by [identity profile] fluterbev.livejournal.com at 08:52pm on 18/05/2013
Nope, bored now
ext_14365: If you made this, tell me and I'll credit (South Park Me)
posted by [identity profile] fluterbev.livejournal.com at 08:57pm on 18/05/2013
Georgia: good voices, nice harmonies. Boring as hell! Where are the dry ice and the acrobats!
ext_14365: If you made this, tell me and I'll credit (South Park Me)
posted by [identity profile] fluterbev.livejournal.com at 08:58pm on 18/05/2013
Ireland! This had better be shit and funny or else I am renouncing my heritage.
Edited Date: 2013-05-18 08:58 pm (UTC)
ext_14365: If you made this, tell me and I'll credit (South Park Me)
posted by [identity profile] fluterbev.livejournal.com at 09:24pm on 18/05/2013
Owen Jones on Twitter: "The world would be a much happier place if we all lived by the principles of Greeceā€™s offering #eurovision" :-D
 
posted by [identity profile] gillyp.livejournal.com at 09:33pm on 18/05/2013
Hee. I've just been on Twitter too. Heh, thus presenter is actually pretty good. her sarcasm is almost Woganesque.
ext_14365: If you made this, tell me and I'll credit (South Park Me)
posted by [identity profile] fluterbev.livejournal.com at 09:36pm on 18/05/2013
Okay, who else is singing along to the ABBA song? :-)
 
posted by [identity profile] gillyp.livejournal.com at 09:38pm on 18/05/2013
I sometimes think I'm the only person in the world who hates ABBA. ::needs drink::
ext_14365: If you made this, tell me and I'll credit (South Park Me)
posted by [identity profile] fluterbev.livejournal.com at 09:40pm on 18/05/2013
Douze points Greece!!!!
Edited Date: 2013-05-18 09:43 pm (UTC)
ext_14365: If you made this, tell me and I'll credit (South Park Me)
posted by [identity profile] fluterbev.livejournal.com at 09:45pm on 18/05/2013
UK votes! So sad, was hoping for douze points to Romania :-(
 
posted by [identity profile] gillyp.livejournal.com at 09:49pm on 18/05/2013
I know. Usually we show better taste. I think we were the only country to properly honour Moldova last year. I am so sad. Boring denmark is getting all the points. What is worng with the world?

Sideshow Bob.... snerk. Oh dear, that guy's mouth. O: ): It's like he's had some razorblade sucking accident
 
posted by [identity profile] bluewolf458.livejournal.com at 06:32am on 19/05/2013
I stopped watching Eurovision several years ago. I got fed up with all the political voting. If they ever do a 'Okay, here are the songs, we'll let you know after the voting which country sang which song' presentation, I might consider watching again.
ext_14365: If you made this, tell me and I'll credit (South Park Me)
posted by [identity profile] fluterbev.livejournal.com at 02:28pm on 19/05/2013
Aha, we talked of Total Eclipse of the Heart, the Literal Video version. I found it!

http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/f03d464867/total-eclipse-of-the-heart-literal-video-version-original

You really must watch it, it is hilarious :-)
 
posted by [identity profile] tehomet.livejournal.com at 11:58pm on 25/05/2013
*giggles at the image*
 
posted by [identity profile] gillyp.livejournal.com at 12:26pm on 23/06/2013
It's a good one, isn't it? But Ireland... what happened?! That was strange and unexpected.

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