panik: (TS - Squee!)
panik ([personal profile] panik) wrote2013-05-18 08:03 pm

EUROVISION!!!!!!

Yes, it's that time again. Willst join me in a snark fest made of purest luuurve?

And already LJ is annoying me most mightily. How can it be so slow?

So. A mighty bridge of musical magnificence. And Gray, so bitchy already? The thing hasn't even started yet. And hello Russell Brand lookalike. Who are you singing for, my pretty little friend?

Oh dear. Hellooooo!!! Is there anybody there? It's so quiet.

Romania, try singing along to that. Ah, Graham baby. You're no Terry Wogan, but I loves you all the same.

Oooh. Get you, France, all sultry and that in black leather. She seems a bit cross about something. I've forgotten too much French to know what about,  can anyone enlighten me?

But now it's Lithuania. Singing in English, predictably. ::sigh:: Who's a pretty boy, then? Thinks he is (as my Mum would have said). A bit tedious, sad to say.

Moldova. Can they possibly improve on last year's spectacular entry? Ah... it would seem not. Just another Euro song, another so-so ditty. I shall kill the time by popping to the fridge and pouring myself a fresh glass of wine...

Is anyone else going to join in? I'm getting terribly lonely. [livejournal.com profile] fluterbev...? Bueller...?

Finland. Turkey is not screening the contest because of this? oooh, I'm intrigued and mildly excited.
It's a girl kiss? Is that it? Oh Turkey, you silly beast.
This isn't all that bad really. I mean, it's not great, it's yer bog-standard Eurovision fare. Ding Dong, Boom Bang a Bang, Ding Ding a Dong. It's a girl in wedding dress and pink platforms. A boy in wedding dress and pink platforms would be more Moldovan and she's kissing a girl with short hair. Very tame indeed Turkey, you silly bitch.

Spain. A girl in a yellow frock and she's not singing in English.For that alone, I'm inclined to like it.

Still no one turned up? I guess I'd best start clearing up, emptying the ash trays and taking the bottles bottle to the recycling.

Missed a few I didn't much care for. This is no fun on your own. Hey ho... Malta - this is pretty good, best song so far by miles.

Russia. Well, that's yer winner, right there. Unless something better comes along. :)

Armenia's entry composed by Tony Lommi. Blimey. Mr Eurovision himself... ;)

Netherlands. Has her luggage gone astray? Distinct lack of Eurovision spirit if you ask me. Song's not half bad though. Refreshing and unusual.

Romania! But surely, it's a Time Lord. A falsetto Time Lord. Oh I LOVE YOU! THIS IS WHAT I'VE BEEN MISSING ALL NIGHT LONG! This is getting my vote, no doubt about it. With added, bonus WEIRD half-naked Romanian wrestlers! YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

UK. Go Bonnie! Ah.... She won't win, but she'll do her best, Gawd bless er.

Sweden's boy looks like a baby John Barrowman. Odd staging... I look forward to that.

Hungary. haven't seen them in the contest in a long time, if ever...? It's the Russell Brand lookalike boy. I warm to him already. It's a bit pulpy. He could be the Hungarian Jarvis. I like this and - singing in Hungarian. There should be  kudos points for anyone not singing in boring Eengleesh. Liked it, though it was a bit like the song from an advert for paint.

Denmark - the bookie's favourite apparently. Not doing much for me, but what do i know/

Iceland, and singing in Icelandic. Huzzah! You cheeky Viking man, you remind me of a young Rick Wakeman, without the wizard robes. Crossed with Justin Lee Collins - without the shouting and spousal abuse.

Azerbaijan. Enjoys freestyle wrestling, apparently. Is that what they call it in Azerbaijan. Ooh, he's a sultry monkey and no mistake. He looks as if he should be on the cover of a Smiths' album. he looks like a teen idol from the early 60's. Johnny Smoulder and the Firecracers. Or something. Alas his song was made of purest bland.

Greece. This is much more like it! A little like a Jewish wedding, but at least it has some life.
When are they going to start throwing the plates? I always like that bit. Alcohol is free. Ah, if only. That went down well. I'll bet Greece are crapping themselves in case they win. The cost of hosting this nonsense would be the last straw for their economy, surely?

The Ukraininan chap is 7 feet 8 inches tall. Good golly Mr Molly! Ben moaning on Twitter has he? the tinker. Song is dull though.

Italy is looking equally tedious. Nothing wrong with any of these songs, they just lack that oomph factor. Nothing fresh here, and there's been a distinct dearth of the crazy all night. At least he's not singing in English, I'll give him that.

Norway... Weird android chick singing about teh future. ::sigh:: Nothing if not literal. Not rocking my world but will do well when all the Scands start voting for each other Yes I am cynical. I've seen a lot of Eurovision Song contests, you know I speak the truth.
Pe
Penltimate song already? We are fairly ripping through tonight. Georgia. Same old.... what a tedious contedst it's een this year. Even Moldova let us down. The Falsetto beardy man from Gallifrey Romania was the only half-decent nutcase tonight. He's getting my vote anyway. Thank God that's over.

Ireland. Huzzah! Used all the baby oil on the dancers. Snerk... Oh Gray, you pervy, pervy man.

And it's over. Already. Well, that was mostly disappointing. Romania all the way for me. Any man with the chutzpa to dress like a Time Lord and sing like he's got his Hampton caught deserves douze points of anyone's money.
That's some pac a mac Loreen's wearing.
And now with the reprise, I really like the Netherlands' song, but Romania... Romania... I think I'm in luuurve.

So, did you vote? who did you vote for? Another costume change for the presenter lady and... Bonnie wowing Sweden. Bless. OK, time for the show. She looks like she's going to give us the Eton boating song, or do a Morris dance.

That. Was truly disturbing.

'He really lights up a room'. Oh Gray, such a snarky cow. Oh dear. The inevitable ABBA tribute. It's like they can't help themselves.

Votes! It's the votes! Greece, douze points! Italy's doing so much better than they deserve. No big votes for Romania yet. I knew it would be so, but am still sad.

Denmark, Denmark, Denmark. Why? I just don't get it. And once again, UK and Ireland too, are billy no mates.

Ah, Graham really doesn't like Lena does he. It's not a wipe out this year, but dear oh dear... And poor Ireland, what happened there?

ted

I'll bet the Greeks are relieved they dropped back down the voting. Ten points to Romania! Greece, you have excellent taste!

Tedious Scandinavian block voting is tedious but I'm glad to see the Netherlands getting votes, I really liked that.

The string on the can might go down... heh.

So Denmark win. ::stifles yawn:: And they've given the girl some kind of prop from Doctor Who. Whatever. I'm off to bed then. Goodnight all.XXX
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[identity profile] fluterbev.livejournal.com 2013-05-18 08:00 pm (UTC)(link)
I am here! I was trying to get a blog post done and posted before coming here, then my computer bloody crashed and it took me ages to get back on. Gutted. Thankfully the draft was saved and ooh er here we, hello Eurovision!

::and breathe::

Where are all the funny ones? I need funny ones. It's all too serious this year!!!

[identity profile] gillyp.livejournal.com 2013-05-18 08:02 pm (UTC)(link)
I know. I am seriously bored tbh. Gray is doing his best to keep it light. But Oh dear... I don;t know how much fun tis going to be anyway, just thee and me. It's very quiet in here tonight. Perhaps everyone is still recovering from Who.

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[identity profile] fluterbev.livejournal.com 2013-05-18 08:11 pm (UTC)(link)
This is more like it! Go, Romania!

[identity profile] gillyp.livejournal.com 2013-05-18 08:14 pm (UTC)(link)
This. Is. FABULOUS!!! Falsetto bearded Time Lord Romanians FTW!

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[identity profile] fluterbev.livejournal.com 2013-05-18 08:14 pm (UTC)(link)
Bonnie Tyler now. I can't think of Total Eclipse of the Heart without hearing the words of the Literal Video.
ext_14365: If you made this, tell me and I'll credit (South Park Me)

[identity profile] fluterbev.livejournal.com 2013-05-18 08:15 pm (UTC)(link)
Bonnie still can't sing. I always want to giver her a strepsil!

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[identity profile] fluterbev.livejournal.com 2013-05-18 08:19 pm (UTC)(link)
The Swede is rockin' that Jedward haircut!

[identity profile] gillyp.livejournal.com 2013-05-18 08:23 pm (UTC)(link)
LOL. A bit so so tho. I like the look of grungy Russell brand boi

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[identity profile] fluterbev.livejournal.com 2013-05-18 08:23 pm (UTC)(link)
OMG this is ace, the Hungarian beanie boy. Is that singing? I can't tell. Maybe it will get better.
ext_14365: If you made this, tell me and I'll credit (South Park Me)

[identity profile] fluterbev.livejournal.com 2013-05-18 08:27 pm (UTC)(link)
Tin whistle! And Lady Gaga!

[identity profile] gillyp.livejournal.com 2013-05-18 08:30 pm (UTC)(link)
Ooh, I pressed the wrong thing and nearly banned you fer spam. Denmark was OK, the favourite to win, apparently. I can't say it's lit my fire.

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[identity profile] fluterbev.livejournal.com 2013-05-18 08:30 pm (UTC)(link)
Ooh, I quite fancy the Icelandic chap!

[identity profile] gillyp.livejournal.com 2013-05-18 08:33 pm (UTC)(link)
He looks like the love child of Rick Wakeman and Justin Lee Collins.

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[identity profile] fluterbev.livejournal.com 2013-05-18 08:35 pm (UTC)(link)
Azerbeijan, I have a feeling this will meet my needs...
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[identity profile] fluterbev.livejournal.com 2013-05-18 08:35 pm (UTC)(link)
No, I was entirely incorrect! Nooooo! Blandness!

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[identity profile] fluterbev.livejournal.com 2013-05-18 08:39 pm (UTC)(link)
Greece, yes! Get in!

[identity profile] gillyp.livejournal.com 2013-05-18 08:39 pm (UTC)(link)
This is much more like it! Romania's still my man tho

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[identity profile] fluterbev.livejournal.com 2013-05-18 08:46 pm (UTC)(link)
The lady from Ukraine has a good voice. But not funny, so faillllll!

[identity profile] gillyp.livejournal.com 2013-05-18 08:52 pm (UTC)(link)
Bit of a pause while I went to recharge my glass. Who am I missing? Norway. Hmm....

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[identity profile] fluterbev.livejournal.com 2013-05-18 08:47 pm (UTC)(link)
The Italian is just too cool for school.

[identity profile] gillyp.livejournal.com 2013-05-18 09:00 pm (UTC)(link)
I cannot keep up anymore. I must be getting old. Georgia was a bit yawn inducing. Ireland has a bit more life, but it's still a bit samey. I needs more madness in my eurovision.
ext_14365: If you made this, tell me and I'll credit (South Park Me)

[identity profile] fluterbev.livejournal.com 2013-05-18 08:49 pm (UTC)(link)
Ha ha, Mark Gatiss on Twitter: "Watching #Eurovision a bit behind. So far: Sontaran ships, Ood spheres and the Master's costume."

[identity profile] gillyp.livejournal.com 2013-05-18 08:53 pm (UTC)(link)
YES! Gatis nails it. :D
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[identity profile] fluterbev.livejournal.com 2013-05-18 08:50 pm (UTC)(link)
Norway, ooh, good start!
ext_14365: If you made this, tell me and I'll credit (South Park Me)

[identity profile] fluterbev.livejournal.com 2013-05-18 08:52 pm (UTC)(link)
Nope, bored now
ext_14365: If you made this, tell me and I'll credit (South Park Me)

[identity profile] fluterbev.livejournal.com 2013-05-18 08:57 pm (UTC)(link)
Georgia: good voices, nice harmonies. Boring as hell! Where are the dry ice and the acrobats!
ext_14365: If you made this, tell me and I'll credit (South Park Me)

[identity profile] fluterbev.livejournal.com 2013-05-18 08:58 pm (UTC)(link)
Ireland! This had better be shit and funny or else I am renouncing my heritage.
Edited 2013-05-18 20:58 (UTC)
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[identity profile] fluterbev.livejournal.com 2013-05-18 08:59 pm (UTC)(link)
YESSSSSSSS!!!!! NEARLY NAKED BODHRAN BASHERS! My happiness is complete.

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[identity profile] fluterbev.livejournal.com 2013-05-18 09:24 pm (UTC)(link)
Owen Jones on Twitter: "The world would be a much happier place if we all lived by the principles of Greeceā€™s offering #eurovision" :-D

[identity profile] gillyp.livejournal.com 2013-05-18 09:33 pm (UTC)(link)
Hee. I've just been on Twitter too. Heh, thus presenter is actually pretty good. her sarcasm is almost Woganesque.
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[identity profile] fluterbev.livejournal.com 2013-05-18 09:36 pm (UTC)(link)
Okay, who else is singing along to the ABBA song? :-)

[identity profile] gillyp.livejournal.com 2013-05-18 09:38 pm (UTC)(link)
I sometimes think I'm the only person in the world who hates ABBA. ::needs drink::

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[identity profile] fluterbev.livejournal.com 2013-05-18 09:40 pm (UTC)(link)
Douze points Greece!!!!
Edited 2013-05-18 21:43 (UTC)

[identity profile] gillyp.livejournal.com 2013-05-18 09:45 pm (UTC)(link)
Nothing yet for Romania. I be sad.

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[identity profile] fluterbev.livejournal.com 2013-05-18 09:45 pm (UTC)(link)
UK votes! So sad, was hoping for douze points to Romania :-(

[identity profile] gillyp.livejournal.com 2013-05-18 09:49 pm (UTC)(link)
I know. Usually we show better taste. I think we were the only country to properly honour Moldova last year. I am so sad. Boring denmark is getting all the points. What is worng with the world?

Sideshow Bob.... snerk. Oh dear, that guy's mouth. O: ): It's like he's had some razorblade sucking accident

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[identity profile] bluewolf458.livejournal.com 2013-05-19 06:32 am (UTC)(link)
I stopped watching Eurovision several years ago. I got fed up with all the political voting. If they ever do a 'Okay, here are the songs, we'll let you know after the voting which country sang which song' presentation, I might consider watching again.
ext_14365: If you made this, tell me and I'll credit (South Park Me)

[identity profile] fluterbev.livejournal.com 2013-05-19 02:28 pm (UTC)(link)
Aha, we talked of Total Eclipse of the Heart, the Literal Video version. I found it!

http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/f03d464867/total-eclipse-of-the-heart-literal-video-version-original

You really must watch it, it is hilarious :-)

[identity profile] tehomet.livejournal.com 2013-05-25 11:58 pm (UTC)(link)
*giggles at the image*

[identity profile] gillyp.livejournal.com 2013-06-23 12:26 pm (UTC)(link)
It's a good one, isn't it? But Ireland... what happened?! That was strange and unexpected.