panik: (DW - Fanfic Two)
2010-03-21 12:00 pm
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Well, here's a thing.

Joanne Harris on her latest novel, Blueeyedboy.

I'd been going through some troublesome times, and my sunny disposition had taken something of a blow. I found I didn’t want to write, and spent far too much time online, hanging around various sites and searching out ever more ingenious ways of evading reality. Under a pseudonym, I made a number of online friends, wrote a great deal of fanfic, and began to take an increasing interest in the way people interact online, the communities they create and join, and the way they choose to portray themselves. I began to understand that the small communities that have always informed my writing also exist in the virtual world, with the same little cliques of insiders, outsiders, gossips, liars, exhibitionists and bullies as in the “real” world. I understood too, how emotionally dependent people can sometimes become on their virtual friends and their virtual communities, even though there can be no way of knowing how honest these avenues of communication really are.

From all this came Blueeyedboy, a dark psychological thriller set in the world of the internet, where no-one is quite what they seem to be, and every taste is catered for, even the ones to which we dare not confess...

And now I need to know what her fandom is! And, yes, since you ask, I am posting like a mad eejit today.

panik: (Not Writing (Hank))
2010-02-24 09:45 am

There is no snow.

Plenty fell in the night, we were getting a proper frightening few inches building up out there when we went off to bed but it's pretty much all melted overnight which is - good, isn't it? When we need to go out tomorrow and the coalman's due and only a day's worth of fuel left in the bunker. So why do I feel so let down by the absence of the tedious cold stuff? What a complex, contrary and thoroughly precious little snowflake I am.

So, we are home (kneels and kisses slightly threadbare Persian rug)! The house is still decidedly chilly but the Aga's lit and after a pleasing log fire last night, warming slowly (though I'm still in my thermals).It's 9.30 and I'm still in my pjs, trying to gear myself up to the rigours of the day but getting the usual first-day-home, post-Dad crash in which I sit on the sofa and stare at the wall and/or ITV4 till teatime.

Hey ho, I must move myself and shower and make the bed and write something, there are novels and TS Fics of Teh Most MASSIVE! Angst to be written, not to mention Real Work (of the sort that pays the bills) to be accomplished.

Maybe mor coffee will help? It has achieved exactly nothing so far this icy morning but I feel it's worth a try. ::nods::
panik: (DW - Fanfic Two)
2010-01-06 08:06 pm
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OK, go on then.

The fanfiction personality meme )

Oh, like that's a surprise. *G*
Not bad, not bad at all but 'You find inspiration in several fandoms, but are not obsessed with only one.' is as far removed from my ficcish reality as it's possible to be!
panik: (DW - Love&Peace)
2010-01-01 01:44 pm

So, 2009, aka, Epic Post is Epic.

My Year in retrospect, by gillyp, aged.

Fandom and Fic )Writing )

Reading )Reading )
In general: Life has been a bit rough at times. We’re still doing one week home, one week at Dad’s which is stressful and tiring. Dad is exactly as he was, some days up, some days down (some days very down indeed), it’s become routine really, a bit bothersome. I have to keep reminding myself that in many respects, I have a life that’s pretty good, that many might envy. OK, a bit (very! Oh so very...)  uneventful and dull, but far from arduous and relatively free of pain. I do keep reminding myself of that (but if the Gods are listening, a little more excitement – of the nicer sort - really wouldn’t go amiss in 2010)

So to round off 2009, I’m going to do that first-post, last-post LJ meme and say, have a marvellous 2010 everyone, I think we all deserve a break. Much love to you all, thank you so much, every one of you, for the laughs and the love and for keeping me sane.


My Year on LJ )
panik: (Default)
2009-08-29 09:54 am
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So, a quick glance at the flist tells me it's that time of year again. As I've said more than once these past 12 months, my squee is not what it was. The loss of dear friends, scrapping the website, a sense of moving on and a general lack of desire to engage in fannish activity have rather dented the shiny and there is a distinct 'back to school' feel, a sense of the nights drawing in for me whenever Fandom is engaged in these days.

But hey ho the nonny, I am certainly not above joining in when the awards come around! Yes, I really am that vain! I am nominated and managed to stay out of the angst and dark categories this year, which, considering my usual output, is a thing to be celebrated indeed. ::nods::

Blue is up for slash H/C, Established relationship and Post TSbyBS - all new categories for me, which is pretty exciting. It got nommed in a couple of others, too, and I had to prune so thank you, nominators, for your perfect loveliness to what is still (to me) a slightly dodgy story. You're all too kind.

Chasing Rainbows is nommed (again! lol! Will it never die!) for gen H/C

Wind Whispering is up for gen novel

Most amusingly of all, I am up for gen outstanding author. Oh my. I mean, whoever nommed me it's just gorgeous of you and blessings be upon you but lawks a lawdy, talk about not worthy! I've been giggling since I got the email.

Fanfic Hospital (on which I collaborated) is up for a few categories too.

Anyway, I thank you all and bow obsequiously in your general directon.

panik: (TSfic - Blue)
2009-07-09 09:18 pm
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I've posted Blue. Here it is.

- Only to 852 at the moment (and yes, it's riddled with the inevitable glitches, why can't I ever get it right? Why?!) but soon to ASR3, I hope and also a new website (coming soon).

I started writing Blue 2 years ago when 20 people contributed $10 to watch this monster get written on a private LJ com, with another 5 getting their updates by email. [ profile] betagoddess , [ profile] fluterbev , [ profile] luicat , [ profile] snycock , [ profile] slipperieslope , [ profile] shiredancer , [ profile] lear1027 , [personal profile] t_verano , [ profile] patk , [ profile] earth2skye ,[profile] tany_z , [ profile] alibongo , [ profile] suemc , [ profile] monkeyfun1 , [ profile] debmc , [profile] still_ra ,[ profile] jazzybea47 , [ profile] juneb , [ profile] artemis54  and [personal profile] ponders_life on LJ. Also Mariojoe, Terry O'Donnell, Gloria Ainsworth, Cynthia and the lovely Gerri - who have all been so generous with their comment  and suggestions and have greatly added to the story and I thank them all.

Special thanks to the magnificent [ profile] runriggers for one of the most rapid betas I've ever had, ever!

If you're planning to read it, be warned it's 126,000 words long and it's angsty. You would  expect it to be, I suppose, angst is my MO, but Blue is mega-angst of galactic proportions. I didn't intend it to be quite so very packed with pain, it was sort of an accident. Sorry.

It's slash but in its very mildest forms. There's nothing much there, really, that would mither even the terribly sensitive.

panik: (NIGHT - Comedy Slash)
2009-06-08 12:26 pm
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At last!

 A sensible, thoughtful, intelligent and non-judgemental article about fic from none other than the marvellous and mighty John Sutherland! - he even quotes the fabulous [ profile] sheenaghpugh ::approving nod::

Thanks to [ profile] hafren for the finding of.

OK, day made. Tea! Then to grips with the novel. ::stern face. looks keen::

panik: (TS - I LOVE YOU)
2009-06-07 05:09 pm
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Now that the list is complete, I'd like to thank the (omg!) 27generous people who donated to Moonridge for the story  [ profile] fluterbev and I are writing together. $540 for the animals! Unbelievable! Thank you all so very much.

I'll be emailiing you all later with details of when you can (hopefully) expect to get your story.

Thank you all, you rock like the Himalayas!

ETA: Not complete for there are more, a total 29 now; $580! Beyond awesome, thank you all so much!

ETA 17.06.09: For the record, 31 contributors, $620!!!

panik: (DW - Sleeping)
2009-04-25 06:44 pm
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I just spent a straight 5h 40 mins working on a fic without a break, I think that's a record for me. I think I may have broken something in the process, I feel a bit odd in the head.

Right. Shower, wine, dinner. ::nods::
panik: (LOM - Don't Feed)
2009-04-13 11:31 am
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From Twitter

arabwel asks Neil Gaiman: @neilhimself Does "A Study in Emerald" make you a fanfic author? :P

Gaiman replies: @arabwel no. It makes me a *Hugo Award Winning* fanfic author.


This pleases me on many levels.
panik: (TS - Have I been bad?)
2009-04-11 08:33 am
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So. We're writing our Moonridge fic

[ profile] fluterbev and me, and we're wondering if some of you Merkins out there could advise - what would be a Joe Average sort of a car, anonymous; the sort of thing no one would look twice at in the street, but with a very roomy trunk? (ooh what a giveaway) ::cue Burgi laugh:: heh heh heh.

panik: (Entanglement)
2009-03-22 04:55 pm
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Yes, it's that pesky weekly review thang I will insist on doing.

I'm pondering on moving all writerly-drabbling to a separate blog soon though, so I won't keep cluttering your flist with my nonsense.

Entanglement. Keeping to writing this chapter by chapter in character blocks, I'm currently working on Matt's character and progress is pleasing. I'm currently at a pivotal point in the plot and it's all  terribly exciting. :o) So consistently was I failing to meet my own rather feeble standards, I decided to reduce my expectations and persuaded myself that a min. 10,000 words a week was fine and dandy. I managed 10,076 this week so - result! Tick the box. *G*

Current wordage, 89,282 - probably about 45% complete.

Blue; another chapter done and posted to subscribers. The end is in sight.

Current total, 95,035 - est. 67% complete.

Incidentally, this leviathan is going to need a beta soon. It's currently 7 weeks from completion but if anyone wants to step up to the plate and offer their services, I'd be immensely grateful.

panik: (TS - I LOVE YOU)
2009-02-17 11:46 am
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Something of an unfriending amnesty.

I’ve been musing a lot on fandom of late – what it used to mean and what it means now. I’ve spent time over the weekend, talking about it with another old fandom-friend who feels much the same and think the time has come for me to bare my breast and bottom to the snowy wastes and admit that  my fandom glory days are probably past.

Bearing the Breast, or - A Former Fangirl Confesses )

panik: (Default)
2008-12-03 10:30 am
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It's my anniversary too!

[ profile] polly_b  made a post about her 6th anniversary posting Sentinel fic, which made me go and check when mine might be and LO! Would you believe, t'was yesterday! The Sentinel Affair, posted to Cascade Library, Dec. 2nd 2005.

Three delightful years filled with a host of incredible friends - it's had its ups and downs and I'm not as active as once I was but I wouldn't want to be anywhere else but this wonderful fandom.

Sending you all some heavy-duty, industrial-strength Luuurve vibes  XXX

panik: (TSfic - Blue)
2008-11-18 08:58 pm
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What did you do in the downtime, mummy?

I finally (oh yes, don't snigger) sat down and worked on the plot of my current fic Blue, chapter by blessed chapter and I can tell you, if all goes to plan (cue my hollow laugh) and doesn't veer off on any sudden, wild tangents (shakes head with a wry smile) there will be 23 (twenty bloody three!) more chapters which I reckon will take at least til May 2009 to complete.

What larks, eh? 

::is mildly depressed::

In other news, my novel is going great guns - still in the planning and research stage but coming along well, especially the cod-science and theory and Angel (the central character, the narrator)'s voice is coming through especially strong now, so I'm making excellent progress and am well pleased.

Just so you know. *g*

panik: (Entanglement)
2008-11-07 03:53 pm
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Been Working

On m'novel, oh yes indeedy. Now I have the bones of the plot sorted I've been working on the science, the whole quantum physics, parallel universe bit of the thing. Of all the detail-filling I still have to do, this was the bit I thought I'd like least (which is why I'm getting it out of the way first) but in fact, I'm thoroughly enjoying it, actually choosing to do it whenever I have time to spare and it's coming on pleasingly and, best of all, really adding to my understanding of the plot and really inspiring the writing and the way Angel's (my central character, my narrator) voice will sound (mildly sarcastic and prone to snark, apparently. *g*) so I'm reet pleasd wi' mi'sen.

The other plot bunny is coming along very well, too. The ideas, they are jumping like gibbons on a hotplate. This will defo be my next project for sure, it's shaping up to be brilliantly angsty and full of exciting potential.

Those following Blue - it's not forgotten, I've been trying to sort out the increasingly complicated plot - specifically whether a certain guy is really a good guy or just pretending to be one, and deciding who lives and who dies. It's getting there. I'll have another crack at it tonight (so much time on my hands now Jonathan Ross and Russy Brand are no longer around much to distract me) and hopefully get the next chapter out after I get home from Stratford next week.

Why am I telling you all this? I really have no idea.

It's Friday, young sunbeams. I hope it shines for you.
panik: (Default)
2008-10-31 12:20 pm
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Anonymous Fb.

I have laid my non-existent knackers on the virtual railway-line. If anyone wants to tell me what they really think of my fic, now's your chance.

panik: (Default)
2008-10-26 01:26 pm
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Help plz, Americans!

Especially if you have some knowledge of the law/police and/or prison procedure.

A few questions of a prisonly nature )

Why yes, I am writing fic. How did you guess?

Oh, lawks a lawdy! An ambulance has just drawn up at my elderly neighbours' house!

panik: (Withnell & I)
2008-10-25 09:54 am

Will this wind be so mighty...?

It's a tad breezy out there today and cold! There's a distinct smell of snow in the air which is something of a shock after the ridiculously warm-wet weather of the last few weeks. I should go out and pick  the last of the blackberries, bilberries and wild plums before we get a frost (but I'm not going out in this in my enfeebled condition). And I've tamped it down as hard as I can but the howling winds in the chimney have whipped the stove into a mental frenzy. If you need any lead smelting, I'm your woman.

My life. Cut for high boredom potential )

Such is my day. How are the rest of you doing, my darlings? For tis the weekend, let us give thanks and be happy. :o)

ETA: LJ seems to have been a bit previous with turning the clocks back. It's tomorrow, LJ - you had me all confused there, for a minute.

panik: (Default)
2008-10-21 11:30 am
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Talk about your stories meme.

Blagged from [ profile] fluterbev , that most shameless of doxies.
 Hear me talk about myself. )