Welcome to my perfumed garden

But realised I couldn't be bothered.

Some food critic said I was a hypocrite for not understanding why people like to see a bull speared to death, when I'm clearly not a vegan and eat hamburgers at midnight.

I think there is a difference between animals being humanely killed for meat and animals being tortured to death for fun.

It's the "enjoying it" part I don't understand.

Wouldn't it be weird if non-vegans went down to abattoirs in their hundreds and cheered as the animals were slaughtered? Would that be a sport?

I've heard some equally silly arguments about our very own fox hunting. (Although at one point in his article he tried to make my hatred of bullfighting look like xenophobia.)

"It's a tradition." "Foxes need to be culled." So loads of inbreds on horses might as well enjoy it right?

I have had several pets put down over the years when they were in pain with no quality of life. It was the right thing to do and yet on every occasion I cried. What a wuss. Next time, I will invite the food critic round and he can have a good old wank as the needle goes in. It's only an animal, it was going to die anyway, may as well have a laugh. It may even become a tradition, and you can never end those.

I wonder what other wonderful traditions he loves. His favourite is probably the one where they cut the tendons on the back of the bull's neck so they can't lift their head and so it looks like they're constantly in "charge pose". More fun for the crowd. I'm getting hard just thinking about it.

He also made loads of other assumptions about me and got quite personal but by then he was basically showing that he just doesn't like me. At one point he went off on one, assuming that because I don't like that particular "foreign" tradition that I probably hated all foreign traditions. So does he agree with all foreign traditions? Does he like that lovely foreign tradition of holding down teenage girls and cutting off their clitorises? That's a cracker isn't it.
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Anyone know who the food wanker in question is? Just so I know where to aim?

ETA: Found it. Giles Coren. Wow. What a loathsome excuse for a human being, but deeply gratifying to see that the majority of commentators are as appalled as me. Arrogant little tosser. ::sigh:: Well that's put me right off  watching Supersizers again.