panik | Caution: Elderly person gripeing and ranting.

I'm watching Museum of Life on BBC2. Fascinating subject and I was actually hoping for a proper documentary but alas, it's just the usual bollocks with the usual over-excited Blue Peter-type presenters giggling and squeeing all over the place and everything dumbed down and over-produced and explained and...

::pauses to sigh::

Maybe it's just me, maybe I'm just getting terribly old but I ache for an adult documentary that respects my intelligence, where a proper presenter like Ken Clark or Michael Wood or James Burke, someone who has a personality rather than is a 'Personality', can take us on a journey without needing to involve us quite so much in the whole wretched process, presenters who don't act like clowns making balloon animals at a children's party.

And here's David Attenborough! But don't worry, he's only being interviewed. He clearly can't be trusted to present the damn thing; too old, probably, too crusty and tweedy and prone to use Big Words that might frighten some viewers.

::sigh:: I fear I may have lived too long.

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::joins you in the old farts' corner::

I was hanging in there till they got to the rubbish with the worms. The thud you heard was me keeling over with boredom.

I love the Natural History Museum - the blue whale was the first love of my life - so I'll probably struggle through the rest, but I wish they'd stop pratting about.

My attention started to wander midway, by the time we got to the nervy gel rubber-painting the feathery fossil I was getting crotchety, when we got to the worms I was ready to start writing letters to the Telegraph. Yes, I really was that cross.

Pratting about - Yes! This. Your choice of words - perfect as always. ::nods vehemently::

Yes! Letters to the Telegraph... I feel them coming on more and more often. I shall be a strange bearded old lady with a spiteful Biro. And probably quite soon *g*

And who was the nervy gel anyway? Could have slapped her, so I could.

I ought to go and get my gin and Horlicks and calm myself *g*

Your style, I like it. I have neither gin nor Horlicks but if I did I'd be joining you. I might partake of a glass of Shiraz, though, in celebration of the fact that The Voice Of Reason aka David Mitchell is on now.

I really like the idea of a spiteful biro but have to say, I think a shotgun would be quicker and cleaner.

I'm happy to confess I didn't know who any of them were, and who are these Beatles anyway?

I'm happy to confess I didn't know who any of them were

Oh thank god - I thought it was just me... and yes, a shotgun has definite merits ::nods crankily::

Ultimately kinder, too, I feel. To the human race, anyway. Take the buggers out of the gene pool. ::grows ginger moustache and thornproof tweeds::

::falls about laughing::

Bless you - please don't ever change *g*

I promise never to actually change into Sir Henry Rawlinson if you will promise me likewise. ::serious stare::

Caution: Elderly person gripeing and ranting.

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gin and Horlicks

Re: gin and Horlicks

Re: a shotgun has definite merits

Re: a shotgun has definite merits

Re: a shotgun has definite merits