panik | I've started the process of pruning my flist.

Really, it's getting awfully crowded and there are a lot of people here who don't ever post or probably even read or with whom I no longer have much in common, or share much in the way of opinions and attitudes, or else I friended a long time ago but they never friended me back so... I'm guessing they want to leave as much as I need to reduce the size of m'flist but are much too nice and polite to say so.

Anyway, it's almost spring and it's time. I'm not pruning much, just a little...

If you've found yourself removed and care,, I'm more than happy to have you stay - just leave a comment and I'll re-friend you.

I'm just doing a litle spring cleaning, both in RL and LJ-life. It's nothing personal.

ETA: Remaining flist (*g*) - where do you stand on people who don't friend you back? There are quite a few on my flist. I've ditched some but there are others that are friends of friends, that I see regularly around the place - mostve been on my flist a good long while and haven't returned the compliment so, presumably, don't care to have me around...? I'm not sure I want to stay friended to someone who clearly doesn't want the same from me, but I don't want to offend or seem like I'm flouncing...? Man... This is getting complicated. *g*

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I honestly haven't got a clue which people I've friended haven't added me back. I don't think there are many - some of them, at least, are fic journals or other impersonal journals the owners of which don't routinely friend back anyway. Others may be people I've 'met' online and added, but who haven't got around to doing it back for whatever reason. It's all good, as far as I'm concerned.

It doesn't bother me at all if people don't friend me back - I don't friend everybody who adds me, either. Usually that's because I have no idea who they are, and they never comment or make any effort to communicate. Some of them are obvious socks (like the

anthroguide LJ, which is... weird and feels a bit stalkery). And others are people I *do* know, but I really would just as soon they'd go away... LOL.

If someone friends me, hangs around a bit, comments once in a while, and demonstrates in my interaction with them that they are not a psycho *g*, I am more likely to add them back. Also, if they have a user name I recognise from fandom in general, I am more likely to add them. If someone springs up from nowhere, however, I am more cautious. I do, after, make quite a bit of reference to my personal life in my locked LJ posts, and I'm really not comfortable with just any old anonymous person on the internet reading it.

comments once in a while, and demonstrates in my interaction with them that they are not a psycho

Of course, this isn't to say that some fen I've been friends with in the past haven't turned out to be a bit psycho. But that's a discussion for another day. sigh Or not.

after, make quite a bit of reference to my personal life in my locked LJ posts

Exactly. I think it's too easy to forget how very out there lj is. One only has to take a stroll through Fandom Wank to see how easy it is to get burned!

Interesting discussion.

Of course, this isn't to say that some fen I've been friends with in the past haven't turned out to be a bit psycho. But that's a discussion for another day. sigh Or not.

Oh I totally, totally hear you. ::rueful sigh::

Exactly. I think it's too easy to forget how very out there lj is. One only has to take a stroll through Fandom Wank to see how easy it is to get burned!

Oh, yeah. I got my rude awakening some time ago, when I found the contents of my LJ being discussed on a list in a disparaging way (see above comment about psycho ex-friends *g*). My first reaction to that was to lock everything down tight. I've re-emerged a bit since then, and I've also got a much more open friending policy now than I had in the past - but mainly that's because periodically I retroactively go through posts with personal content and make them private. And I make it a habit to never say anything publicly I am not prepared to stand behind, no matter what the fallout might be :-).

I'm actually surprised I never made Fandom Wank, considering... ::sighs again::

And yep, it is interesting, seeing different responses to this issue. I think, when it comes down to friending, everyone approaches it from a different perspective. For some people, their Friends List is simply a reading list, and there are no connotations attached to friending/unfriending or the mutuality thereof at all. At the other end of the spectrum, being unfriended or *not* friended is perceived as a personal slight. And then there is every shade in-between. For me it's been a sliding scale - I think I started out more emotive about it, and now I'm fairly blasé!

I've started the process of pruning my flist.

On the friending-back issue

Re: On the friending-back issue

Re: On the friending-back issue