Welcome to my perfumed garden

Romania. Tediously bland and flat. Man...

OOH! here we go! UK! UK!

Groovin to that funky vibe! How cool are we? ::see me shimmy::
Good; we was good. We won;t win of course, but hey; we deserve to.

What is with the weird red people. They look like they have stomach trouble or something. Someonme should fetch them some m,ilk of magnesia.

Albania. She has a lovely flat tummy.
I quite like this; groovy with a nice ethnic vibe.

Germany. Oh dear, these little inserts are decidedly odd. I missed seeing ours - was it any good?
Oooh, dry ice! Seen so little since the 70's. Nice colour scheme from the Germans but singing flat again. Is something seriously  wrong with the fold-back? Oooh, horrid. This is awful. Not the song, the singing. OW!

Armenia: Ronald McDonald on a unicycle - and obligatory nose-flute and three gyrating midgets. LOL Tel, I loves ya. The pyrotechnics are worthy of The Osmonds. heh heh. Gyrating flapper-chica. This is snappy, but reminds me a little too much of a North London wedding. But groovy, very. I'm wanting to dance around a flowed-decked stool.

Bosnia Herzegovina: Oh dear. Is it the grink or is that actually happening?
OK; I'm off to B-H next hols; looks like they have some seriously good shit over there!

Oh no. It's the obligatory screaming blonde chick. 'Welcome to THE BELGRADE!' Yay. Indeed...

Israel: Go baby go... Oooh, a little mournful but written by Dana International so let's give it a chance.
Oooh. He's rather nice... (o:

Thank you! 'Not at all.' Ah Tel... ♥

Finland: All the men ride forth. Do they indeed... Lots of men; ah; we're going for the Lordi come cod-Sabbath thing again, hmm? Not sure it'll work a second time, my babies. OK, that was... OK, I guess. A tad deriative.

Croatia. Is it me or do all the inserts look like paint ads?
Ooh, and it's Berlin 1938... Or something. Which one's Sally Bowles?
I haven't had the chance to drink m'wine yet. This is bloody hard work!!!
Mark wonders if he's shouting 'death to the Serbs'. heh heh. If a tad un-PC *g*
That was OK, is everything tonight a wedding song? Or do they all just sound like it?
Tel says: 'What in heavens name was that all about; does anyone know?'  heh hhe

Poland! Man... Tries to catch breath... Why is a porn star singing their national song?
Meh. That drifted by me unnoticed...

Iceland: Chicks in raincoats. Why are was their song written by a Brit? Iceland is chocca with brilliant musicians!
Urm... It's very Eurovision.
1987.

Oh dear God this is horrible.
That'll get a few votes... from Denmark... trust me. LOL!

Boris?? Boris is in Eurovision and for Turkey. he is part Turkish I believe.
Ah Not that Boris. A shame.
OK, Turkey... Surprise me.

Well during this predictable little ditty I managed to finally catch up to the comments. No time to comment tho... (mep)

You watch that get votes... from Germany. Tell me you're not having fun. Oh Tel. I adore you you cheeky scamp.

GOOD EVENING EUROPE!!! OH Noes' I am terrified!!! It's like something from Clockwork Orange.

Please shouty Serbs, don't hurt me.

I am so glad they've gone.
Portuguese Pilates...  The big lassie's come in a nightie. Oh; an anthem. Get your lighters out...
Chunky band! I like it! The song not so much but hey, you can't have anything.

Latvia up next - with pirates! Pirates for the win! RAOTFL > Tel; Robert Newton indeed.
Oh dear. A novelty act. What a shame.
LOL!!! This is truly DREADFUL and I'm enjoying it immensely.

Sweden: the favourites I believe. 'A shimmering delight and yet, a little bit frightening...

Meep!

Is it a man in drag? I can't decide...

This is a favourite? Man. Formulaic crap, in my oh so humble.

We're well past half way? Well well. That went fast.

Denmark: Tel likes this. I await it with interest. Is everyone singing in English now? ::sigh:: Is ithat Gilbert O Sullivan? fair little tune; catchy. But what's with the matchstalk men look?

Georgia: Oh this is SUPER scary!!! Why have the Georgians sent cyborgs? ::is very scared::
If this was DW, they'd suddenly explode scary sex-pollen weapons on stage. ::is interested and a little anticipatory::

Meep!

They genuinely have escaped from an institution, no?

Ukraine. Strangely drawn to this girl... oh Tel. you naughty man
Have all the acts tonight been gleaned from the sex industry?
That was OK.

OH SHIT! NO, they're back.
'Tel: why do they have to do this?' 
'Is he still talking?'

France: .yay. Consistently the best Eurovision entries, i think.
He's positively froid. ::snerk::
LOL! Oh dear, what IS going on?
Is he singing in ENGLISH?! Please tell me it aint so!
I really like this guy. Oh this gets my vote for sure!

Azerbaijan: How I doth love thee! For you are like Chris Rock in The Fifth Element!  Angel wings and freaky contacts for the win!
Ooh. I like this! It's a real toss up for me now twist France and Azerbaijan. ::wibble::
Oh cracktastic squealy former-Soviet angels I love you!

Tel: 'It restores your faith doesn't it...'  ::laughing hysterically - and I'm not even drunk! I haven't had the chance.

Greece: I think I dropped off for a moment there. Did I miss something?
It appears not.
Tel liked it, apparently. hey ho.

Spain: Even Franco's secret service couldn;t help this one! LOL! A little bit of politics there from Sir Terry. Mind you, I see what he's saying... Oh. Dear. And the worst of it is, I speaky da lingo, I can hear how trite and horrid the lyrics are. Baila chicky chicy.

Mierda Santa, chico. Por que estas tan terrible?

Well, that gave me the best laugh of the evening! RAOTFL!

What's up next then?
Are we all enjoying ourselves? I am ENORMOUSLY I have to say!

Ah, it's the home team. can it be worse than last year?
Serbia: Oops, it's finishing. I was trying to catch up to comments...
Ah. Alrightish. I suppose. ::shrug::

Oh heck, here comes trouble. It's Russia, expect booing in the audience ::sigh::
'If you believe in political voting instead of, oh, I don't know, voting for the best song...' LOL. Go Terry!
Michael Flatly???
That was... average.

Last song! OMG!!! It's never gone this fast, has it?

Norway! La Norge. Nul points! lol. Oh I hope not...
And Tel says, 'Cling to the wreckage, it'll all be over soon'. ::grin::

And already I know, it's so very ,very meh. ::sigh::

Looking forward to the half-time show; crackiest part of a cracktastic night. ::hopes::

I hate the presenters. I HATE them. Really. It's a good job guns are illegal  in this country.

YAY! SCREAMING BLONDE CHICKY CHICKY. (But will she dance)?
She's awfully excited, isn't she?
LOL, did Terry whisper 'give us a break'?

The brides and the clothes line... heh heh!

I am exhausted with laughing. I'm going to break to refresh my glass...

Oh fuck. It's the Clockwork Orange couple again. Holy, holy shit. I'm off...

Is anyone actually voting? (She asked, stuffing olive into gob). I have to say, the Spanish dancing chickys are growing on me. I still want Azerbaijan to win though.

Oh no. They're back. STOP SHOUTING!!!!!!!
He's come dressed as Billy Fury. Good for him.

Weddings and funerals! What did I tell you! LOL. Does he do Bar Mitzvahs?

'If you feel the need of a stiff drink...' Tel read my mind! Raises glass.

Urals Fever. ::snerk::
It doesn't make you a bad person...

Does watching Eurovision make you feel dirty, too?

Oh dear. What the merry FUCK is going on? I fear I have gone mad.

has anyone else lost the will to live? and LOL! Terry reads my mind again! 'You think it's all over don't you? You should be so lucky.'

HEE! He's no friend of yours love!

OMG, have you seen her eyelashes!?! I told you, Clockwork Orange! ::puts head in bag. hides behind sofa::

And here we go. here's the predictable and depressing bit. We're going to lose, we're going to lose... 

'me proud beauty!' LOL!!

Ukraine gives Russia douze points; guess they've gotta make sure that pipeline stays open. ::roll::

So far NO surprises in the voting... Oh dear, this is so boringly predictable.

Heh! Oh Terry, you make it worth watching this disaster evey year.

Why Greece? WHY? It was so 4th rate!

UK six points! We're off the pad... But Greece, again. WhuOhWhyOhWhy?

This is so boring. Terry's right, such an anticlimax.

8 to France! About time! Iceland gives its points to Norway and |Denmark. ::sigh:: 'A lucky guess I suppose.' Hee!

France are giving their points to Turkey and Armenia? I'm having to check back on my comments to even remember what they were like...

'Shrewd move,' oh Tel, you are such a cheeky moppet.
Gods. Norway.

Oh...
No.
The Scary screaming people. Have they been imbibing, do you think?

Stop screaming Russia you silly bint!
The Russian chanting is just - frightening. I feel in danger of an invasion.

Am I alone in thinking

THIS WHOLE PRODUCTION IS ON CRACK?!

AZERBAIJAN douze points!

And Andorra gives Spain, 12 points. ::see me heave a heavy sigh::

Terry sounds as fed up as me. You know, I really wouldn't be surprised to see him leave the show after this; he's getting really pissed off with the predictability of the voting.

Ey oop; Slovenia. I wonder where their votes will go? Croatia... Boznia H... Serbia. Gods! I didn't see THAT coming. ::rolls eyes like a kitten on crack::

Bored... Boring... Bored...

The UK has 6 points. But we were goood!

Malta! No UK vote from Malta? But... but...

Ireland... Yay! UK  8 points! Bless their hearts! Latvia! Yes! Such brilliant taste.

Swedish votes... Iceland and Norway. and Tel says; 'I've lost the power of speech'. Oh Gods, I'll be gutted if he leaves.


France eight points! Russia 12 points. Gosh, everyone is really scared of Russia this year aren't they? *g*

Nice to see that very special shade of brassy blonde is still fashionable east of Berlin.

Denmark votes for Norway, Sweden and Iceland. It truly is PATHETIC.

I'm feeling quite irritated now. Will I watch again next year? Oh, man... ::sigh:: probably.

'We have to decide, do we want to do this again.' Yeah, I knew it. Terry's as pissed off and fed up about it as we are peeps. Will the BBC continue to put the money in? I do wonder, because I think most of Western Europe is feeling the same way right now.

Till next year, my lovelies...