Welcome to my perfumed garden

Oh, those Russians! Aren't they adorable? A shame about the pre-event publicity but there you go. If you will be shameless bigots, you must accept the consequences.

Lithuania - a bit so so; no strong emotions sparked by that. Graham Norton is being disappointingly restrained so far. I hope he gets a few drinks down his neck soon and livens up a tad.

Israel... Is every bugger singing in English tonight? There used to be a rule. OK, admirable sentiments but the song was a wee bit so so. Hmmm. It's all very low key tonight. Who's up next? OK...

France. Always used to be one of the best entries once upon a time. Hmmmm. Meh.

Oh man, Sweden up next. I heard this in the previews. Sounds like Wagner on helium. YAY! First bitch from La Norton! 

I shall celebrate with wine. Oh man, in English again. This is so wrong! And too much like the song from 5th Element!

She is properly terrifying... Heh! Graham, I loves you. Trying to Tweet as well as LJ is killing so alas, must abandon twitter for the duration even though I miss Wossy and Graham Linehan tweeting together about it.
Wossy: The swedish entry does look rather as if she has a past in adult movies. And perhaps a future judging from the yodelling.

Croatia: Wow, the Croatian guy's got a pair of lungs on him and no mistake. I kinda like this.

Portugal: Even though there's a woman playing accordian on stage, I quite like it...
G. Linehan says; The gay Pogues.
Wossy: portugal have scrubbed kelly osbourne up for the occasion> nicely.

Sorry I'm not commenting but, hey - my hands are kinda full.

Iceland: Again in English. Nononono! S'OK, a bit sort of Smiths meets something tedious and bland. Alrightish.
Graham: I'm sure they want to do well, just not win... Ah hahahaha!
Wossy: Iceland. She's wearing a dress that has been designed to hide toilet rolls.
paulcarr: dont getEurovision here so instead Im ging to fnd a gay Israeli and a Belgian goth and ask them to scream at me for three hours.

Greece have called in Torchwood for the occasion.
Jamesmoran: God, the poor guy's having an epileptic fit, but keeps going, bravely.
Wossy: He is like a nightmare Ibizan sex pest.
Wossy:  If I wanted to look at a greek gentlemans nipple i would have dinner at George Michaels house.

Armenia: Where the national tongue is also, rather surprisingly, English! Amazing. I like this. Jaunty with a pleasing hint of Turkish Delight.
Wossy wants to move to Armenia! I know where I'm having my holidays next year. Oh, that's where my votes are so far.
Wossy: dem is some fine, hot, mediaeval bitches right there.

Oh, it's Mother Russia. Home team's up. Too histrionic! O:! Man. That was HORRIFIC! Graham says it's a grower. I'll take his word for it.

Azerbaijan. oooh. Balalaika, wailing, I'm liking it already. Cute babe. The guy looks like Omar Djalili's younger brother. Hmmm. It was alright but I'm still rootin for dem Armenian bitchez.

Bosnia Herzegovina: Missed it alas due to Dad asking bizarre questions also the last one whoever that was. Hey ho.
Gave me a chance to re-fill my glass anyway. Two of them might be dancers but what's the balloon thing?

Norway: The favourite apparently. Long gone the days of nul points. LOL! Gray says he liked it 3 days ago, now it's more like a slap. heh heh heh.
Man, your comments are coming in faster than I can keep up with... What with this n twitter, will have to catch up later! Tweeting hurts...

malta: Nice comfy lassie! I like her already. I shall endeavour to catch up with your comments my darlings. And drink wine...
Wossy: Malta has set one of the dogs into a weird frenzy. he either loves her or hates her. Too soon to tell.
Hmmm. Hmmm? Nah, meh.
Jamesmoran: You can't just stand there in a dress and sing. Where are the fucking techo-pirates, helium and ice skaters?

Estonia: About as exciting as the UKs entry.

Denmark: By Ronan Keating? I would never have guessed ::she said sarcastically::
Wossy: enmark. John Thompson on keyboards. Young Steptoe on vocals.

Germany! Oh yeah, here comes the stripper. He has Vince Noir's glitterball pants!!!
Wossy: Germany !!! This is what John Barrowman dreams of after a cheese feast. I don't even know what that means but I like it a lot!
Wossy: anyone know where Dita Von T stores her internal organs ?

OK, Turkey, lay it on me! Yay! Pyrotechnics! Old school! Like a Jewish wedding music. How can you go wrong with that?

Gray. The bad news is, you're about to see Albania. She's only 17, she wasn;t strong enough to say she didn;t want these cfreatures on stage with her, but where was her mother?

Norway: Gray says he liked it 3 days ago, now it's more like a slap.
David Scneider: There's nothing else I need to see in life. Breakdancing dwarves.

NorHmm. I must say, I do rather like this. Nicely traditional and Norwegian (apart from the singing in English) but pretty catchy and cool too.

Ooh, what's going on? Breaktime? Oh - no, Ukraine...
Well she's a sassy piece and no mistake. Disco still big out east then. Camp gladiator dudes! Oh yeah. Wow, shouting and drums and flags! You can't go wrong can you?
Wossy: Ukraine have given me a headace. Her groin/ hip area is over-active.
Glinner: Ukraine rhymes with 'insane'. I just realised that

I might have to place this behind a cut soon. It's getting rather long. :o)

Romania: Yawn.
Wossy: It's a bit like being on a cruise without the benefit of arriving anywhere at the end of the show.
insidebooks: Trying to explain what Eurovision is to my eldest. Yes son there are people like this all over Europe and that's why we don't travel much.
And we fought a war so such as this could run free. Makes you proud.

Oh no. The UK. I'm sick of it already.
Wossy: Please god let Andrew LW be dressed as the phantom or a cat.
::sigh:: Am I alone in finding the UK entry an unoriginal and dreary durge?
davidschneider: Well, at least we've got the best-looking pianist

Finland: Gray: Welcome back to the 1980s. snerk
Oh. No. Really. The burning torches were a little reminiscent of rabid villagers.
Wossy: Finland have lost the plot. They should have phoned each other to co-ordinate outfits. Sir Ben Kingsley raps. Who knew ?
Davidschneider: Finland has the highest rate of suicides in the world. That's all I'm saying.

Oh Spain, I liked this one in previews.
Wossy: Spanish lady is a bit of a sauce-pot.
Those dancers, VERY Blakes Seven! Me likeee!

Gray! That Russian man is delighted with himself! Hellooo! *G*
The pre-votes show! The pre-votes show!!! Oh, we're going to space... Cosmonauts! That's... I'm really not sure what that is. Oh that's just showing off.

Ah, at last, a break. I can catch up with your comments my delightful darlings - and what a lot there are.

And on Twitter, proffessoryard says it well: 65 years ago we were blowing the crap out of each other now we just hurl shit in song form at each other ::nods thoughtfully::

Ooh, backstage party. Whatever we think of this man, he's not as bad as the one who was supposed to be doing it, who got the boot, and is probably in a gulag. Ah gray, so PC...

My vote: Armenia or Norway.

And we're back! OK. Here we go. Let's calm down? What are you talking about man? I guess he's got to big it up. *g*

An extraordinary interval act. OOh. ::Rubs hands in anticipation:: Suspended pools...? They've been up there for three hours? They must be well wrinkly innit.
Wossy: just because you have a big ceiling doesn't mean you should hang people from it.
Gray: Like you've been to a giant fair and won a girl in a plastic bag.

Andrew Lloyd Webber! For it is he.

Oh! Oh! Voting! heh. Why is this exciting? 
Norway, douze points!  Fantastic. *G*
Belgium gives Turkey 12 points. Ha ha ha! Oh, how... unexpected. *G*
Malta gives the UK 10 points, lol! Good old Malta, always reliable. 12 to Iceland? Well weird!
And 10 to Turkey from Germany too. heh. La Norge, douze points again. Well, they deserve it. A pity about Armenia, I really liked them.
Is she being paid by the minute? LOL!
Armenia 12! Yes!!!
Stockholm calling... Why does she keep singing? On your bike Sarah. heh. I must say I'm surprised to see UK in second. I think it's pretty bad. Norway's gonna walk it I think.
France - You'd've thought that with 100 million viewers he'd've shaved. Turkey again. Man.
Jerusalem: LOL! Glinner has opinions.
Spain nul points? That's a shame, it wasn't half bad.
Oh Montenegro, you are made of fail.
Finland: He's skipped dinner to be here tonight. ::chortle:: Norway, 8 points? wow. Estonia? ::rubs chin in surprise::
Switzerland: Only 8 for Norway. Turkey. ::shrug:: I thought that was a bit bollocks myself. Just shows what I know.
Bulgaria: Given the 12 to nipple crotch man, those Bulgarians know what they like.
Odd Lithuanian man is very odd. Has he got nits?
OK, here we go. UK. Turkey? Shitballs. We gave Norway 10 though so we're not entirely mental.
What...? Why? Strange people in comic national dress. Why is this happening? Gray: Do you think anyone anywhere in Europe is laughing right now? What the fuck is happening? is it a dream, or too much wine?
Greece: One of the oldest things in Athens. Ooh Graham, you are such a bitch! UK DOUZE POINTS?! Bizarre!
Wossy: we can hold our heads high in the discos of europe this year.Greece presenter looks like Paul O Gradys dad.
O:! Scary skull-like Bosnian creature! 12 to Croatia. OK. ::sigh::
Wossy agrees! The Bosnian host wins prize for most terrifying.

Norway are going to walk this in style and then some. Gosh golly gosh, that's a lot of votes.

Cyprus only gives UK 7 points? Well so much for the Empire. 12 to Greece, none for Turkey? Surprising. ::grin::
Oh silly Polish man! G:You're sorry you did that now, aren't you? Snerk!
LOL Glinner!
Heh!

Estonia: 12 to Norway. I think this is all a bit of a done deal now, isn't it? Most votes ever in the contest ever, apparently.
Croatia. So naughty. The political vote isn't dead yet.

What happened to the comments my loves? You've slowed down a bit. *g*

davidschneider: I reckon the Norwegian boy might lose his virginity tonight. The Albanian dwarves have their eyes on him

Ireland: Eight to Norway?! Ah. Good old Ireland, always reliable for a few UK points. *g*
Denmark have Boris Johnson's brother! Norway are going to be unbearable.... *G*
Moldova: He looks like he's just left prison. Bwahahaha! Ah, all so, so predictable. 12 to Romania. Tragic giving that 12 points, but they did.

The Russian compares sound a bit tired and bored now. Oh, here's Armenia. Does anyone really care any more at this point? 12 for Russia? WTF?!!

Hungary: Don't mess with her.
God, this Azerbaijani woman's a bit full of herself.
Norway! Look at him in his nice little outfit. He's a bit of a cutie. 8 to Denmark, 12 to Iceland, oh you!

But you know, the real winner is the Songs, because for the first time in ages, the political voting was kept to a minimum and, I think, the best song won tbh. Most excellent. And Iceland came second, so glad they didn't win. *G* The Norway girlies are from Sheffield?! Well, hot dang!

And here we go again, fiddling as Europe burns.

Well folks, it's been very, very real. I think, maybe, I need more wine now.

Years ago, when I was younger...? What? When you were an embryo? When you were naught but a glint in the milkman's eye? Fascinating eyebrows. Glinner slash!!! *G*

Oh, Eurovision music, I love you, you make me nostalgic and weepy - or is it just the drink?

So, it's all over for another year, and the fat lady never got to sing (sorry Malta, I thought you were rather lovely). I'm knackered. I'm off to bed. Nightie night my loves.
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