Quick beta-type question for my flist...

[panik]

I just finished my latest fic - the one for mariojoe, the one she won for Moonridge 2006  (yup, it's only taken me a year to write ::hangs head in abject shame::)

OK, so... this story has quite a lot of first person in it, mostly in third, but switching into 1st from time to time, with the entire first chapter in 1st P; three voices. Now I know when you're reading it, that it should be apparent that it's moved into 1st, and who is talking, but should the formatting reflect that, do you think? I'm just experimenting with italics, different fonts, indenting pars - I'm just not sure...

Italics are probably the easiest, most recognisable way to separate out the 1st P sections, but I'm wondering if that's going to be too hard on the eyes when there are thousands of words of this (almost 3,000 continuous words in the first chapter alone)? - I'm wondering whether it's not better to just leave it all the same and let the narrative passages speak for themselves?

Any advice received with gratitude. (o:

Comments

[starwatcher]

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When I read italics, I "hear" a change in voice -- emphasis, or thoughts, or dream (vision) sequence, or over the telephone, or another language, or sentinel hearing.

:::StarWatcher stares at the list::: Whew! Didn't realize it was so much; impressive what a crooked letter can do. *g*

But first person doesn't justify a "change" in voice -- it's still just "direct" storytelling. And, as you say, reading longer than a short scene in italics can get tiring for the eyes.

I'm wondering whether it's not better to just leave it all the same and let the narrative passages speak for themselves?

That's the solution I'd go with. With a scene break to let us know that 'something' has shifted, the reader should recognize first person -- and who's 'speaking' -- before the first paragraph has finished.

The K.I.S.S. solution -- Keep It Simple, Stupid -- is usually best.
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[sallymn.livejournal.com]

I'm not sure if this is possible in HTML... but maybe you could put the passages in 1st person as narrower blocks (i e widen the left and right margins a little), the same way one narrows the paragraphs of quoted material in nonfiction or in a thesis? I find that makes for a visual difference without being as intrusive as italics...

[carodee.livejournal.com]

I'm going with starwatcher307 here. Use breaks and indicate who's speaking in the first sentence or as soon as possible. Formatting is nice but you always have to consider whether it enhances the readers' experience or not. I wrote a story with inner thoughts, flashbacks, and a third-party sorta mental-telepathy intrusion all in different fonts/italics, etc. and it was messy as hell. I'd have done far better to have saved the fancier formatting for the third-party thing and used plain breaks/punctuation stuff to set the rest of it apart.