panik | I've started the process of pruning my flist.

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Current Location: The bedroom

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I've started the process of pruning my flist.

Really, it's getting awfully crowded and there are a lot of people here who don't ever post or probably even read or with whom I no longer have much in common, or share much in the way of opinions and attitudes, or else I friended a long time ago but they never friended me back so... I'm guessing they want to leave as much as I need to reduce the size of m'flist but are much too nice and polite to say so.

Anyway, it's almost spring and it's time. I'm not pruning much, just a little...

If you've found yourself removed and care,, I'm more than happy to have you stay - just leave a comment and I'll re-friend you.

I'm just doing a litle spring cleaning, both in RL and LJ-life. It's nothing personal.

ETA: Remaining flist (*g*) - where do you stand on people who don't friend you back? There are quite a few on my flist. I've ditched some but there are others that are friends of friends, that I see regularly around the place - mostve been on my flist a good long while and haven't returned the compliment so, presumably, don't care to have me around...? I'm not sure I want to stay friended to someone who clearly doesn't want the same from me, but I don't want to offend or seem like I'm flouncing...? Man... This is getting complicated. *g*

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::clings::

::has a quick grope::

I do the same thing from time to time. LJ spring cleaning is a good thing - the beauty of LJ is that it is possible to operate within your comfort levels by choosing what/who to read :-)

I was logged in as my fic LJ. I thought my flist was quiet this morning - I couldn't see the locked posts! That's what I get for editing my story first thing. Sheesh, I don't know how people who have sockpuppets cope - I have enough trouble with my two LJs!

the beauty of LJ is that it is possible to operate within your comfort levels by choosing what/who to read :-)

Amen to that. Why have your blood boiled in your downtime, you know? (o:

And I still haven't had the time to read TNT, I keep trying but Dad's needing an awful lot of babysitting at the moment - for the same reason, I'm not getting any writing done at all; there's no peace. ::sigh:: I'm hoping for an uber-early night tonight so I can a read the damn fic I've been aching (to the depths of my soul!) to read and hopefully be up earlier tomorrow so I can get some writing done.

::sighs again::

Ah... sockpuppetry is a whole world unto and of itself. I've been doing a little research into the phenomenon apropos of the comedy I've been thinking about writing. Fascinating... (o:

*Chains self to P's house and clutches the key in her tight little fist.*

No no no no no no, not going, no doin, you can't make me!

Love you Hun!

Oh, hey, you're not on my list hon! Never were, never will be.

Scratches head. Tries to figure out chains; hopes K hasn;t swallowed the key...

i think i'm still in the punish corner from the mardi gras bead incident.... and i kinda like it here - you've got all sorts of interesting thoughts going 'round.

::hugs::

-bs

Hope I'm still here - although you've had to read all my angsty stress laden posts recently...

Would I unfriend you, sugar?

There are people on my list I've friended who haven't added me back; usually BNFs whose fic/meta I'm interested in, which is really the whole point of friending, except the name adds other layers of meaning... Doesn't really bother me not to get friended back. My fic/ ramblings don't interest them or they're too busy to add more LJs to their reading list; either way, not a biggie.

I have a lot of people who have me friended and I haven't friended back after all; couple of hundred of them in fact.

where do you stand on people who don't friend you back?

I decided a long time ago that what I wanted out of LJ was relationships, and not just to be some kind of fan club, so for the most part, I defriend if someone has not friended me back in a certain amount of time. There are always exceptions...for example, I'm friended to someone who is a TV writer, I just read her LJ for the insights and don't expect her to friend me back. And yes, it does kind of offend me when someone with whom I have lots of mutual friends won't friend back! ;)

I have a couple-three journals that don't have me friended. In my case it's because they have something I might want. One is a jewelry seller's blog, and a couple of others are artist's blogs.

I'm here for the social life. Usually I let people friend me, and I friend them back. I've been invited to friend someone before and did so and then that person never friended me back. That sort of hurt, so after about 6 months, I defriended her.

I guess I take the passive approach to friending, but I'm really over the average age of a LJer, and I 'd feel funny friending strangers that were 30 years younger than I am without their permission: )

Were do I stand on people who don't freind me back?
I don't really care as most of the people I've really wanted have added me back.

I do get a bit alarmed over people who freind me but don't tell me who they are or why.

where do you stand on people who don't friend you back?

Well... I pout!

Lol, nah seriously, I friended them for a reason so generally I just don't worry overmuch if they never friend me back. But then if the reason I friended them is gone, and has been gone for a while... I will defriend if they never friended me back. No give and take, no need for loyalty. IMHO... which can count for little or much whichever way you want to take it. :D

have fun pruning,
Marns
~pN

My friending policy is based off of what I get out of that person's journal. If I friended it because they post a lot of great screencaps or something...no, I don't really care if they friend me back.

If I friended them because I thought they seemed like an interesting person and I might develop a nice LJ relationship, but they don't friend me back....then I usually bow out after a while. (Unless I still enjoy reading what they write, then I stay and adjust my view of that journal). But I definitely don't view it as flouncing. (And honestly, who would know anyway?)

I do not automatically friend back everyone who friends me. I take a look at their journal and see if I'm interested. Someone who posts nothing but quizes everyday doesn't get friended back - I don't need those cluttering up my flist if I'm not getting other interesting content from that person.

I've been thinking of trimming my flist myself, and I totally hear you on the "angst" of it, because yeah...it's tricky stuff.

I honestly haven't got a clue which people I've friended haven't added me back. I don't think there are many - some of them, at least, are fic journals or other impersonal journals the owners of which don't routinely friend back anyway. Others may be people I've 'met' online and added, but who haven't got around to doing it back for whatever reason. It's all good, as far as I'm concerned.

It doesn't bother me at all if people don't friend me back - I don't friend everybody who adds me, either. Usually that's because I have no idea who they are, and they never comment or make any effort to communicate. Some of them are obvious socks (like the

anthroguide LJ, which is... weird and feels a bit stalkery). And others are people I *do* know, but I really would just as soon they'd go away... LOL.

If someone friends me, hangs around a bit, comments once in a while, and demonstrates in my interaction with them that they are not a psycho *g*, I am more likely to add them back. Also, if they have a user name I recognise from fandom in general, I am more likely to add them. If someone springs up from nowhere, however, I am more cautious. I do, after, make quite a bit of reference to my personal life in my locked LJ posts, and I'm really not comfortable with just any old anonymous person on the internet reading it.

Good answer... always good answer...

*Unchains self only cause back is hurting now...*

Okay, more coffee time... Muse wants to dance...

Fandom politics is as complex as office politics, isn't it? For the most part, I friend folks I find interesting. I belong to some of the lj communities for the fic.

I may not post as often as I would like (or comment as much as I should) but I enjoy my flist. It's manageable and filled with talented, amusing folks.
~V~

comments once in a while, and demonstrates in my interaction with them that they are not a psycho

Of course, this isn't to say that some fen I've been friends with in the past haven't turned out to be a bit psycho. But that's a discussion for another day. sigh Or not.

after, make quite a bit of reference to my personal life in my locked LJ posts

Exactly. I think it's too easy to forget how very out there lj is. One only has to take a stroll through Fandom Wank to see how easy it is to get burned!

Interesting discussion.

I find it rather annoying when people ask you to friend them but then don't friend you back. Makes me wonder if they had the wrong idea of me, then found out they were wrong and decided not to friend me.

There was one the other day who asked me to friend her as she wanted to read my stories. She'd searched all over 852 but couldn't find them. I friended her, pointed her towards my website, and said they were gen which is why they're not on 852. Silence from her. I suspect I'll be defriending her soon.

If someone doesn't friend me back, I assume it's because they don't want to read my LJ. Another reason to defriend 'em.

Of course, this isn't to say that some fen I've been friends with in the past haven't turned out to be a bit psycho. But that's a discussion for another day. sigh Or not.

Oh I totally, totally hear you. ::rueful sigh::

Exactly. I think it's too easy to forget how very out there lj is. One only has to take a stroll through Fandom Wank to see how easy it is to get burned!

Oh, yeah. I got my rude awakening some time ago, when I found the contents of my LJ being discussed on a list in a disparaging way (see above comment about psycho ex-friends *g*). My first reaction to that was to lock everything down tight. I've re-emerged a bit since then, and I've also got a much more open friending policy now than I had in the past - but mainly that's because periodically I retroactively go through posts with personal content and make them private. And I make it a habit to never say anything publicly I am not prepared to stand behind, no matter what the fallout might be :-).

I'm actually surprised I never made Fandom Wank, considering... ::sighs again::

And yep, it is interesting, seeing different responses to this issue. I think, when it comes down to friending, everyone approaches it from a different perspective. For some people, their Friends List is simply a reading list, and there are no connotations attached to friending/unfriending or the mutuality thereof at all. At the other end of the spectrum, being unfriended or *not* friended is perceived as a personal slight. And then there is every shade in-between. For me it's been a sliding scale - I think I started out more emotive about it, and now I'm fairly blasé!

I am always chastened and feel icky when I am not 'friended' back...

Some people I friend for 'community' reasons - I like them *g*. Other times they've friended me in the first place and they look basically sane and they do talk to me sometimes.

I have other people I friend on a 'reading list' basis. If they friend me back, cool. If they don't - no skin off my nose. I'll still keep reading them. Otoh, if I get bored or whatever, if they didn't friend me back, then I don't worry so much about defriending/removing from the reading list.

I kind of assume that I'm still on your flist. I'll avoid the insecure nonsense of wandering off to my user page to check...;-)

I've got more than a passing interest in sockpuppetry myself - if I ever do get round to doing the PhD I've been wittering about for years, I'd love to make that my research topic. If I get on the main PC and look in my bookmarks, I've got a few interesting links saved - say the word and I'll send them over. And anytime we manage to get together, we could have a good old chin-wag about it! Well, in-between bouts of looking at pretty boys, that is ;-)

(PS I've no kids this w/e - no pressure at all, of course, but the invite is there if you can get away :-))

Funnily enough, Rowan looked over my shoulder this morning and saw my Sock Queen icon, then insisted we make a sockpuppet. We spent some time after that sewing buttons for eyes onto a sock, and glueing on tinsel for hair. The sock is called Herbert - if I can get my camera to work, I may iconise him! LOL

Aw, poppet, I hope you get a bit of a break sometime soon ::hugs tight::.

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I've started the process of pruning my flist.

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