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...trying to sell the bloody novel.
For yeah and verilee, I am trying to sell 'Mangoes' to an agent. Again. 6 agents, to be precise; hand-picked and dewy fresh from a lengthy and detailed perusal of The Writer's and Artist's and bloomsbury.com. I've been doing a little self-help; been delving into some of those 'how to get published' books and websites and it appears I'm not selling myself hard enough.
It's The Pitch, you see. I'm no good at The Pitch.
So I'm trying The Pitch and, as expected, I'm piss poor at it (Dear reader, I always was) and getting myself into quite a state trying. I can't even write a synopsis that makes this book sound half-way to anything anyone would want to read. ::sighs::
Hey ho. I think I need tea, maybe some toast, too, before launching myself back into the fray. ::sighing hard, wondering why I keep putting myself through this when I could be sitting by the fire with my feet up, watching Morse like a sensible human::
ETA: I just realised one of the people I'm trying to sell this thing to was once a personal friend, someone I've worked for in my hack past who's now heading the submissions dept. of a Highly Respectable Literary Agency. Good job I noticed. ::scratches carefully constructed half-truths from pitch:: heh heh.
ETA 2: And I just discovered that we've left the bloody printer in Withnell. Clearly the Gods are against me this grey and dreary day; it is not meant to be. ::hangs head. breathes deeply. sighs theatrically. hits head repeatedly on table till sense is beaten therein::
For yeah and verilee, I am trying to sell 'Mangoes' to an agent. Again. 6 agents, to be precise; hand-picked and dewy fresh from a lengthy and detailed perusal of The Writer's and Artist's and bloomsbury.com. I've been doing a little self-help; been delving into some of those 'how to get published' books and websites and it appears I'm not selling myself hard enough.
It's The Pitch, you see. I'm no good at The Pitch.
So I'm trying The Pitch and, as expected, I'm piss poor at it (Dear reader, I always was) and getting myself into quite a state trying. I can't even write a synopsis that makes this book sound half-way to anything anyone would want to read. ::sighs::
Hey ho. I think I need tea, maybe some toast, too, before launching myself back into the fray. ::sighing hard, wondering why I keep putting myself through this when I could be sitting by the fire with my feet up, watching Morse like a sensible human::
ETA: I just realised one of the people I'm trying to sell this thing to was once a personal friend, someone I've worked for in my hack past who's now heading the submissions dept. of a Highly Respectable Literary Agency. Good job I noticed. ::scratches carefully constructed half-truths from pitch:: heh heh.
ETA 2: And I just discovered that we've left the bloody printer in Withnell. Clearly the Gods are against me this grey and dreary day; it is not meant to be. ::hangs head. breathes deeply. sighs theatrically. hits head repeatedly on table till sense is beaten therein::
depressed
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I hear you about the pitch. The big thing I've heard as a jobseeker is to have an "elevator speech" something that sells you in 30 seconds. Anything I can come up with sounds pathetic.
Oh, that sounds about right.
I'm knocking it on the head for today anyway... see my eta#2. ::sighs dramatically::
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And I just discovered that we've left the bloody printer in Withnell.
Time to give up, give in, and give over *g* It'll all be easier in the morning after a decent sleep. Just a matter of time before someone realizes just how good 'Mangoes' is ::nods wisely to self::
(I'd pet you gently - but sending a stiff G&T is probably more helpful *hg*)
::sends booze::
Well I wrote a pitch...
Sorry. I'm over-caffeinated and more than a tad panicky; tears are probably on the cards about now.
(I'd pet you gently - but sending a stiff G&T is probably more helpful *hg*)
That g&t sounds REALLY good. I've not touched a drop of alc for weeks but I think there's a bottle of red with my name on it tonight.
Just a matter of time before someone realizes just how good 'Mangoes' is ::nods wisely to self::
Ah. Would that it were so, hon. I weep at your kindness whilst swigging White Lightning from a brown paper bag, gripping you hard and telling you you're me best mate.
Re: Well I wrote a pitch...
Ah. Would that it were so
's true babe - just a matter of time before somebody snatches it out of your hand, probably taking your arm with it...
::starts whittling new arm to go with the leg::
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Aw shucks...
I'm keeping at it for a while longer. When I've sent the thing to every agent out there, maybe I'll give up. (o:
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I wish more of them would let you email the stuff. Hey ho... Thanks for the good wishes.
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I do hope everything looks brighter tomorrow, after a couple of stiff drinks and a good sleep. Sometimes when things are going badly the best thing to do is just give it up and watch somethng good on the telly...*G*
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I gave up and watched Stephen Fry talk about Gutenburg instead - very soothing. Thanks for the advice. *g*
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Can't add much to what everyone else has posted, but I wish you the very best of luck with your novel! It WILL sell! You'll see! =>}
::hugs::
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maybe.
But thanks for the good thoughts; they always help. xxx
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Have you looked at some of the agent blogs where they post & critique query letters? I have no idea if the format is much different between the U.S. and Britain, but the basic advice seems pretty universal...
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Styles differ quite radically though, between the US and the UK - poor American souls have to sell *themselves* much harder; here we mostly just have to pimp the book. That's hard enough, imo.
I'm finding a synopsis the hardest damn thing to write and I don't know why... ::weeps::
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Still, I'm so sorry you had such an awful time of it yesterday and hope you can agree with what I'd have been telling you if I'd commented yesterday: today will look better/a day isn't gonna make any difference ;) And isn't it absolutely *great* that you have this friend at the submissions dept. of that agency?
About "The Pitch": How can that *not* be hard? It's frustrating but also a bit of a reassurance to think that the truth is that *The Pitch* (rather than the months and years you spent writing the actual book) makes for most of the money you'll get from it. It's like applying for a job. Once you have the job, most people only need to show up and...well...not suck at it, but it's mostly the success of the application that guarantees the income in the end.
On the (very slim) off-chance that you haven't seen this yet *and* are interested: Randy Ingermanson (http://www.advancedfictionwriting.com/) sells all sorts of advice on selling books, too. I don't personally like his style of self-promotion but I bet it serves him very well, so... And there's something about "the pitch" in his free article on the Snowflake outlining method's first couple of steps.