I'm tying myself in the most appalling knots here

[panik]

...trying to sell the bloody novel.

For yeah and verilee, I am trying to sell 'Mangoes' to an agent. Again. 6 agents, to be precise; hand-picked and dewy fresh from a lengthy and detailed perusal of The Writer's and Artist's and bloomsbury.com. I've been doing a little self-help; been delving into some of those 'how to get published' books and websites and it appears I'm not selling myself hard enough.

It's The Pitch, you see. I'm no good at The Pitch.

So I'm trying The Pitch and, as expected, I'm piss poor at it (Dear reader, I always was) and getting myself into quite a state trying. I can't even write a synopsis that makes this book sound half-way to anything anyone would want to read. ::sighs::

Hey ho. I think I need tea, maybe some toast, too, before launching myself back into the fray. ::sighing hard, wondering why I keep putting myself through this when I could be sitting by the fire with my feet up, watching Morse like a sensible human::

ETA: I just realised one of the people I'm trying to sell this thing to was once a personal friend, someone I've worked for in my hack past who's now heading the submissions dept. of a Highly Respectable Literary Agency. Good job I noticed.  ::scratches carefully constructed half-truths from pitch:: heh heh.

ETA 2: And I just discovered that we've left the bloody printer in Withnell. Clearly the Gods are against me this grey and dreary day; it is not meant to be. ::hangs head. breathes deeply. sighs theatrically. hits head repeatedly on table till sense is beaten therein::

Comments

[vamysteryfan.livejournal.com]

But it would be so great to sell the novel.

I hear you about the pitch. The big thing I've heard as a jobseeker is to have an "elevator speech" something that sells you in 30 seconds. Anything I can come up with sounds pathetic.

[snailbones.livejournal.com]

And I just discovered that we've left the bloody printer in Withnell.

Time to give up, give in, and give over *g* It'll all be easier in the morning after a decent sleep. Just a matter of time before someone realizes just how good 'Mangoes' is ::nods wisely to self::

(I'd pet you gently - but sending a stiff G&T is probably more helpful *hg*)

::sends booze::

[maybeatdawn.livejournal.com]

Inserting supportive thoughts here and a lot of smiles because you are such a talented writer, it's a joy to read you. Of course someone is going to understand how lucky he will be to publish you! Soon!

[mab-browne.livejournal.com]

To go all philosophical on you, the necessity to 'pitch' yourself must surely be one of the most exhausting and frustrating aspects of modern life - let alone modern publishing. Good luck - once you have the printer. :-)

[snycock.livejournal.com]

I agree with Mab - it's a sad comment that not only do you have to write the darn thing, then you have to sell it to other people. As if the writing wasn't hard enough.

I do hope everything looks brighter tomorrow, after a couple of stiff drinks and a good sleep. Sometimes when things are going badly the best thing to do is just give it up and watch somethng good on the telly...*G*

[betagoddess.livejournal.com]

Can't add much to what everyone else has posted, but I wish you the very best of luck with your novel! It WILL sell! You'll see! =>}

::hugs::

[http://users.livejournal.com/tesserae_/]

::Wishes you luck::

Have you looked at some of the agent blogs where they post & critique query letters? I have no idea if the format is much different between the U.S. and Britain, but the basic advice seems pretty universal...

[earth2skye.livejournal.com]

...reading this on which I hope is a much happier and sunnier day for you...

Still, I'm so sorry you had such an awful time of it yesterday and hope you can agree with what I'd have been telling you if I'd commented yesterday: today will look better/a day isn't gonna make any difference ;) And isn't it absolutely *great* that you have this friend at the submissions dept. of that agency?

About "The Pitch": How can that *not* be hard? It's frustrating but also a bit of a reassurance to think that the truth is that *The Pitch* (rather than the months and years you spent writing the actual book) makes for most of the money you'll get from it. It's like applying for a job. Once you have the job, most people only need to show up and...well...not suck at it, but it's mostly the success of the application that guarantees the income in the end.

On the (very slim) off-chance that you haven't seen this yet *and* are interested: Randy Ingermanson (http://www.advancedfictionwriting.com/) sells all sorts of advice on selling books, too. I don't personally like his style of self-promotion but I bet it serves him very well, so... And there's something about "the pitch" in his free article on the Snowflake outlining method's first couple of steps.