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panik: (Screwed)
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God, I'm depressed.

posted by [personal profile] panik at 01:04pm on 21/06/2007 under
One, just one, of the many things I have to do today is re-write the first two chapters of my book and send it out to new agents.

The agency I approached first don't want it; one of their criticisms is that it's set in the recent past, so I'm taking out anything that points to it being a few years ago (nothing in Cuba has really changed since I made this trip so it's not really a biggie), leaving the time-frame ambiguous and trying again with three new agencies.

In total, I had to ditch three paragraphs. A simple enough task.

But now, everytime I read it through, to make sure it all still flows together, I come across something else that is just B.A.D. I've written and re-written and re-re-written and now I'm utterly convinced that the whole thing is a big, steaming pile of stinking poo. Or is it? I don;t know. I have no perspective on it at all anymore.

Man...

It's now 13.05. This is all I've done today and I'm no closer to completion  than I was at 8.00 this morning.

Shit.

I'm having a bad, bad day.

location: My habitual sofa.
Mood:: 'melancholy' melancholy
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There are 27 comments on this entry. (Reply.)
 

Too cool for subject

posted by [identity profile] janedavitt.livejournal.com at 12:24pm on 21/06/2007
I do that all the time. Some moods I can pick up any story I have ever written and be convinced of its utter triteness.

It's probably you, not the story, if that helps. Leave it, walk away, go back to it in a day or two maybe?

::hugs you::
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Thanks, hon.

posted by [identity profile] gillyp.livejournal.com at 12:39pm on 21/06/2007
I know, I know... I've been here so many times before but... sheesh!

I'm putting it aside. I'll look at it again tomorrow. I've decided to eat instead (why didn't I put any chocolate on the Tesco order?) - and write fic. Fic is never as hard to write, have you noticed?

Thanks for your hugs and words of writerly wisdom. maybe the wretched thing will look less dung-like in the morning. ::nods in attempt to convince self::
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Too cool for subject

posted by [identity profile] talcat.livejournal.com at 12:49pm on 21/06/2007
I think you should take a short break have a cup of tea or go for a walk and just leve it for an hour or so then go back to it hopefuly feeling refreshed.

Perhaps a nice fic read would help you feel better *innocence*
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Too cool for subject

posted by [identity profile] talcat.livejournal.com at 12:51pm on 21/06/2007
Ooooh Sorry I didn't mean to tag onto sombody elses comment I've pressed the wroung reply button! SORRY!
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Too cool for subject

posted by [identity profile] gillyp.livejournal.com at 12:55pm on 21/06/2007
I forgive you. (o:
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Too cool for subject

posted by [identity profile] gillyp.livejournal.com at 12:57pm on 21/06/2007
"Perhaps a nice fic read would help you feel better *innocence*"
You think I didn't try that already? (o:

It's only 2.00 (it feels so much later - ot is it just that I feel so much older?) - I shall start writing some fic, go for a walk. I'm leaving the chapters till tomorrow. Another day can't hurt.
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Too cool for subject

posted by [identity profile] talcat.livejournal.com at 06:28am on 22/06/2007
Did you go read my finished fic after?
I'm hopeing yo still like it.
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Too cool for subject

posted by [identity profile] gillyp.livejournal.com at 09:21am on 22/06/2007
Your fic is great.
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Too cool for subject

posted by [identity profile] snailbones.livejournal.com at 12:26pm on 21/06/2007
Oh sweetie - you write far too well for it to be a steaming pile of anything smelly; it's just having to live with it too long... can you put it aside and forget about it for a day or two? I generally find the more I fight with something, the worse it gets. :~(

Hope the day gets better for you soon ::hugs gently::
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You are so kind

posted by [identity profile] gillyp.livejournal.com at 12:46pm on 21/06/2007
...to me... ::sniff::

::Is filled with the Love of the Flist::

I'm laying it aside for now; I'm just not getting anywhere and in continuously meddling I'm runing the risk of doing serious damage. Maybe tomorrow, the stupid thing will look less like manure and more like something I can bear to show to a real person of the literary profession.

Thanks for your hugs, hon, you have no idea how glad I am to have them. (o:

And thank God for Tescos, too, for yea, verily, they hath delivered unto me, crusty baguettes, gorgonzola, lemon olives and Chardonnay (the wine, not the character from Footballer's Wives). I'm starting the weekend early. (o:

::hugs you mightily::
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Re: You are so kind

posted by [identity profile] snailbones.livejournal.com at 01:33pm on 21/06/2007
It'll look much better in the morning, honest it will. And your Tesco order is making my tummy rumble - I need to go and forage now... mmmmm lemon olives and Chardonnay - yay for early weekends!

::hugs you some more::
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Re: You are so kind

posted by [identity profile] gillyp.livejournal.com at 01:36pm on 21/06/2007
::hugs you back even harder::

(It's OK, we don;t have to keep this up for long. ::G::)

Oh oh... here cvomes the rain! O:!
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Re: You are so kind

posted by [identity profile] snailbones.livejournal.com at 01:42pm on 21/06/2007
LOL - hey - summer? What summer? Here, summer summer, good doggie...
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Re: You are so kind

posted by [identity profile] gillyp.livejournal.com at 01:57pm on 21/06/2007
Right when I have to go out...

Oh heck, it's ******* down!!!!
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Too cool for subject

posted by [identity profile] t-verano.livejournal.com at 12:34pm on 21/06/2007
::hugs you hard::

I have an *extremely* hard time believing your book is a big, steaming pile of stinking poo. Or a little pile. Or any poo at all.

Just a natural part of the process, yes? Natural for a person to go through spells where you just can't *tell* and where you don't much care for what you've written -- and that's just temporary reaction, not reality; needing a breathing space.

So breathe, and believe. (And I sound like an advertising agency, sheesh.) You write wonderfully -- you need and *deserve* to believe in yourself and your writing.

And man, get all that poo out of your head! It's not true poo. I totally betcha.
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Aw baby...

posted by [identity profile] gillyp.livejournal.com at 12:54pm on 21/06/2007
"::hugs you hard::"
::starts to cry::

"I have an *extremely* hard time believing your book is a big, steaming pile of stinking poo. Or a little pile. Or any poo at all."
::is blubbing helplessly::

"You write wonderfully -- you need and *deserve* to believe in yourself and your writing."
::Is starting to embarrass everyone with noisy, no-holds barred weeping::

Oh.....

I SO want to say 'screw it', but I can't. It's too important. I've put it away for today, though; I know I need a break from it. And I have fic to work on - and so do you, what are you doing, wasting time over here?

Thank you for your sage words, honey. ::hugs you::
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Too cool for subject

posted by [identity profile] earth2skye.livejournal.com at 01:41pm on 21/06/2007
Is it traitorous to advice you to just pretend this day didn't happen, get yourself a hot, big cup of hot cocoa and hide out in front of the TV with a few of your favourite DVDs?

Seriously, I think you just need to take a time-out from your book... but I guess you know that.

::hugs:: Hang in there.
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Too cool for subject

posted by [identity profile] gillyp.livejournal.com at 09:22am on 22/06/2007
LOL. Today is another day...

I'm warming up with tea and fic then I'm going to tackle it again. Gotta get this show on the road... O:
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Too cool for subject

posted by [identity profile] betagoddess.livejournal.com at 02:35pm on 21/06/2007
Haven't got much time. Just wanted to give you ::hugs::

I'm sure it's good. All your writing I'VE read has been. =>}

Good luck!
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Too cool for subject

posted by [identity profile] gillyp.livejournal.com at 09:23am on 22/06/2007
Thanks honey - and enjoy your trip!
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Too cool for subject

posted by [identity profile] betagoddess.livejournal.com at 01:17pm on 22/06/2007
You're welcome and thanks very much! *g*
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Too cool for subject

posted by [identity profile] maybeatdawn.livejournal.com at 04:18pm on 21/06/2007
One of the most difficult thing a painter has to learn is to stop working on a canvas because the more he looks at it , the more he see things he may or feels like to change.
So may I suggest you to go and try to focus on a landscape , a plant, an animal you like and to give it all your attention and gratefulness for some time. Then come back to your book and do the first thing that comes to your mind. You may be surprised. Ask Blair, this can be effective.
And don't forget to rest, the nature does it too.
Take care gifted lady.
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Too cool for subject

posted by [identity profile] gillyp.livejournal.com at 09:24am on 22/06/2007
Wow.. Gosh, praise indeed!

Thanks so much. I did go for a long walk in the woods and got soaked to the skin. It seemed to do me good. (o:
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Too cool for subject

posted by [identity profile] arnie1967.livejournal.com at 05:56pm on 21/06/2007
All I can do is echo what others have said: stop, put it down, walk away. Go back to it when you feel better, or (even better) when you suddenly *know* exactly what you're doing with that scene. Then you'll be fine.

::hugs::

And no chocolate on the Tesco order? What were you thinking?!
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Too cool for subject

posted by [identity profile] gillyp.livejournal.com at 09:25am on 22/06/2007
I'm going to warm up my juices with some fic them take a freah look at it (though the thought of doing that makes my heart sink). Hopefully, it'll all look a bit better this morning.

Thanks for the hugs hone and yeah - no chocolate. I'm big as a house right now! O:
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Maybe it was more than the three paragraphs

posted by [identity profile] roslynsmuse.livejournal.com at 10:22am on 23/06/2007
that troubled that group. After all, they could have edited them out as well. Maybe by finding the new things that bother you, you are opening the door to fixing things that will get the manuscript easier acceptance by this or another publisher.

A lot of writers tell me they only whip their stuff into shape after the first rejection.

But no matter what, the process SUX!

::Drinking a cuppa tea in your honor and sympathizing::

Roslyn

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Re: Maybe it was more than the three paragraphs

posted by [identity profile] gillyp.livejournal.com at 11:07am on 23/06/2007
Thanks hon. It was the fact it was set in the past they didn;t like - the 3 pars are the only thing that give that away, easy enough to fix and set it in an ambiguous time-frame. I just found, as I was reading it though, lots of it seemed badly written.

It wasn't, really,I was just having a bad day, I think. I'm going to finish tidying it up this afternoon and get it sent out to some new agents.

Thanks for the tea and sympathy!
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