Welcome to my perfumed garden

on the Now Show!!!!!

...Because THIS is now the finest film ever made, ever.

And I see there's a documentary about Wild Billy Childish on Radio 4 at 11.30. The genius responsible for the reggae version of Who Do You Think You Are Kidding Mr Hitler on the ASDA ad? That's well worth a half an hour of my time. And why am I indulging in such blatant pleasure-seeking on a Tuesday I hear you ask. Well, tis because we have the sweep coming, dear hearts. Three flues, three rooms shrouded in dust sheets and consequently inaccessible and I am an artiste my loves, I cannot work in such conditions!

listening to Boswell's Life of Johnson on Radio 4 whilst following @DrSamuelJohnson's most amusing Tweets:

Fool BOSWELL is making a great Sycophant of him-self on th'invisible Idiot Box on Radio IV... The Actor who plays me is no GARRICK; I sound like a Steam-Engine cross'd with Bow Street Runner Inspector MORSE... Scotch Libertine BOSWELL protests of his Clap & Membrum-Rot 'pon Radio IV... @RealBoswell Sir, th'invisible Mummer-Troupe of Radio IV render you as a great DULLARD, a Simon MAYO of our Age.

They make a lovely couple.

So, I'm listening to Radio Four and William Hague has just told the nation that he and Seb Coe used to hold 'bare chested wrestling sessions' when Bill was leader of the Op.

May I have the brain bleach and a commode now, please nurse, and bring the screens, I fear I may be some time...

ETA: spelling corrected!