You can stuff Citizen Kane down the toilet.

...Because THIS is now the finest film ever made, ever.

And I see there's a documentary about Wild Billy Childish on Radio 4 at 11.30. The genius responsible for the reggae version of Who Do You Think You Are Kidding Mr Hitler on the ASDA ad? That's well worth a half an hour of my time. And why am I indulging in such blatant pleasure-seeking on a Tuesday I hear you ask. Well, tis because we have the sweep coming, dear hearts. Three flues, three rooms shrouded in dust sheets and consequently inaccessible and I am an artiste my loves, I cannot work in such conditions!

The new Marmite

I have a jar of Marmite XO, billed as a longer-matured, extra strong version of the usual strength, sticky brown elixir and it's unbe-bloody-lievably good!!! Maybe it's my ageing tastebuds but it's how I remember Marmite tasting when I was a kid.

I need more I tells you, more!!! Must make more toast at once. Oh dear God, half a teaspoonful and I'm already addicted. This is the good stuff, my babies, this is the very nectar of the Gods. I can't wait to try it with some good strong cheddar.

::exits pursued by an obsession::