Welcome to my perfumed garden

listening to Boswell's Life of Johnson on Radio 4 whilst following @DrSamuelJohnson's most amusing Tweets:

Fool BOSWELL is making a great Sycophant of him-self on th'invisible Idiot Box on Radio IV... The Actor who plays me is no GARRICK; I sound like a Steam-Engine cross'd with Bow Street Runner Inspector MORSE... Scotch Libertine BOSWELL protests of his Clap & Membrum-Rot 'pon Radio IV... @RealBoswell Sir, th'invisible Mummer-Troupe of Radio IV render you as a great DULLARD, a Simon MAYO of our Age.

They make a lovely couple.

Fox 'News' continues to amuse with it's deranged absurdity.

and I have a new Aga! Lawks a lawdy, it's hot in here! It smells a bit funny at the moment but we're assured that will wear off in a few hours and in the meantime - omg! heating and hot water and cookery! and heating and - did I mention how bloody hot it is in here? I shall post a picture as soon as the camera stops playing silly buggers.

And Twitter for a Nobel Prize? and is it Saturday already? And will it ever stop raining? And look at Gaiman's library O:!

Do I ramble? I think I'm being affected by the unbearable heat. Where's Omid Djallili when you need him? Well, on YT of course.

I think I need coffee. Maybe some toast.

The Whig sees it as a Nest of Tories, when 'tis a Nest of FOPS! Thus quoth @DrSamuelJohnson on Twitter. Never a truer word, sir.

A brief perusal of Dr Johnson's esteemed followers brought me to a veritable virtual coffee shoppe of most esteemed gentlemen and ladies in the forms of @RealBoswell (And now to th' NATIONAL PORTRAIT GALLERY, where I aim to gaze Fondly at picktures of MYSELF), @TophamBeauclerk (Can any tell me who is the - so-call'd - Prime MInister of this land? The rogue goes a-missing it seems, whenever factional Battle looms), @LaurenceSterne (Mr Cameron,Tory, is angered that AL MCGRADY, the adopted Scot, has retired to foreign climes. Does he want the 'Med' for English OAPs alone?), @JonathanSwift79 (This is both a bankless and thankless holiday. Stella and I arrive at 'Starbucks' expecting whaling equipment, but get an AMERICAN muffin!), @MrAlexanderPope (O RUBICON! what Treachery is this? / Thou sayest, 'Water-Melon'; meanest, 'Piss') which is, frankly, just confusing. @RTristramShandy (He may walk but I enchant (so sir recant!)), @HesterThrale (Planning a trip to Brighton to catch the last rays of the dimming season and escape this frightful London summer), @AaronBurrJr (Just finished my book: "10 things I loathe about the articles of Confederation & that whoreson Hamilton". My place in history is assured.), @TobiasSmollett (feels trepanned by the Internet.) and @TrumpHogarth (The Poor do have but two Delights: FORNICATION and GIN, & of the two, Gin be the more desir'd for it lasts a longer time & is CHEAPER).

This has been the cause of most goodly giggles and yes, I hath friended them ALL.

I'm just taking a short break from the Dreade Submission (cup of green cherry sencha and a banana, should you be curious). I've finished the letter, the infamous Query the writing of which always gives me such a case of the vapours. I've been going over my first three chapters, which a good and trusted friend assured me were Good but which I now see are far from. The things in their entirety are, indeed, naught but a pile of skiddy pants and need must be re-written with a most severe pen. I've cut a good 20% of it, shunted a few pars about. Just 5 pages left to sort out now and I can send it winging through the ether to Mr Ian Drury of Sheil land in Doughty Street, then set about prepping stuff for the next agent in the queue.

It's all a bit of a bastard, I can tell you.

OK then, tea consumed, sustenance taken, loins girded, best be back about it I suppose.

Stephen Fry tweets:  Damn this cricket is tense. I'm having arse babies.

I thought you might like to know. In other news, our new lawnmower is doing a most splendid job down the frighteningly wild, surprisingly vast side garden. A lawn may yet be achieved, despite sudden unexpected vole attack.

It's gone all dark out there, it's going to pee it down, isn't it? Time to open the wine, methinks.

Probably my last post on this for the weekend.

Glinner just posted a link to a blog post from an American who lived in the UK who puts the record on the NHS about as straight as it can be, I think. Very fair, very reasoned, very well written.

And now I really musty get my act together and pack my bag. It's FRIDAY people! Let us give thanks and be merry.

So Cameron finally weights in but

email?

Did he say email? O:!

Twitter where it happenin' bro, get with the Zeitgeist Dave, I mean to say, email? So 2004! And you're 2 days late man, Gordon was Twittering his support in minutes.

*G*

Nice article on Graham Linehan who started it all.

Even Fox are backpedalling!

Ah. Enjoyable LOLs but I really must do some work now.

Is the top trending topic on Twitter tonight! Srzly, it's gone mental! Entertaining and educational. ::nod::

...anyone?

ETA: 8.19. S'OK, it just came back on again. (phew!) *g*

ETA2: Up and down like the proverbial cheap tart's knickers. Twitter saying they've been under attack (again). What the frack is happening out there on teh interwebs?

via Twitter.

Amazing what you can pick up in Sainsburys now.