panik: (DW - Psychiatrist's field day)
2010-07-13 03:53 pm
Entry tags:

Rather tired and at a loose end...

I thought I might try that 'I Write Like' thingumajig that's doing the rounds with a passion right now. Plugging a little of my novel in and finding that I apparently write like Stephen King (which, lawks a lawdy, I don't, nothing like!) I found myself merrily sticking in random bits of fics wot I wrote and it seems, going on samples of Chasing Rainbows, Wind Whispering, A&O, I write like HP Lovecraft (cool, if unlikely). The Sentinel Affair and Angel Dust both threw up the unusual choice of Mark Twain (Angel Dust? Mark Twain?? What the...? O:!). A Child of God came up, like the novel, as Stephen King and Blue plus a random ASJ fic, Jumping Frog (which is named for and references a Mark Twain tale) apparently remind said meme of Chuck Palahniuk.

But best of all, I put in a random bit of typical blather from my LJ and got:

I write like
James Joyce

I Write Like by Mémoires, Mac journal software. Analyze your writing!

Personally, I think that meme's been drinking.

How are you all, btw? Long time, no whateveritiswedohere. I hope you are all happy and well.
panik: (Book Critic)
2010-03-17 12:38 pm
Entry tags:
panik: (It's Not Funny)
2010-03-10 09:56 am
Entry tags:

Tricky, thinky, angsty, decisiony thoughts

...assail me this cold, damp morning.

I may have made a mistake when I decided - of all my many ideas - to choose to write Shed. I may have to rethink this. It's not really happening like I hoped, it needs more work, more prep, more thought and I think, maybe it'd be better to cut my losses and go with another idea that is happening in what I jokingly think of as my brane.

The other one is a plot I've had on my mind, off and on for years. I's better prepped and covers much of the same territory than Shed. The ideas I'm having seem better suited to the other (working title 'Window' - for reasons too strange to go into right now) and, well, I have lots of reasons for switching that I won't bore you with but the main one is, it just feels right. Shed, I think, will have to wait.

I find THIS highly illustrative of my thought process on the matter for the past several days. No matter how many times I see it, it makes me giggle.

Anyway, I have a father to feed and a house to clean. Life eh? So far from perfect yet what's the alternative? Answers on a postcard. In the meantime, I'll be the one rocking in the dark and dusty corner, sucking my thumb with spiral-eyes, like a cartoon.

ETA: And pausing to say, I've been working on the plot and already written more in an hour and a half than I have on Shed in the past 2 months. Kiss my face!

Tbh, I don't understand now, why I set myself the challenge of writing something entirely new when this story has been nestling in a cosy corner of my mind for at least 10 years, for as long - maybe longer - than Entanglement. There's no accounting for it, none at all but whatever strange and convolute reasons I had back in January when I embarked on the decision to write Shed first, they're lost to me now.

But oh, the relief! Like having a boil lanced or a splinter removed, only a whole lot less painful!  I feel quite jolly, justified in the decision and finally getting somewhere.

OK. Tea, and then on. I've got till 2pm to churn out some more plot before I have to shift myself and do less exciting things.
panik: (DW - Oh)
2010-02-28 02:42 pm
Entry tags:

The first Housely Works of 2010

Yes, it's that time again. The new doors are made and in place, a new stair carpet has been ordered and we were supposed to be painting today, but look what we found when we stripped off the old carpet.

Two old, very cracked and highly knackered pre-Victorian stairs that will have to be fixed before much else can go ahead.

::sighs mightily:: Things b'ain't never simple, be they? I've done what I can, put a first coat of Japanese Willow #3 on the doors but can't do much else till the stairs are fixed.

There may be time (but is there the strength?) for some work on the new novel. I've been toiling at this for the last three days, a thousand words a day are being torn, kicking and screaming from my reluctant bod. I've been writing about it in my blog - I haven't mentioned the blog much up till now, it's where I'm putting all my tedious writery blatherings, to spare the innocent and blameless amongst m'Flist who don't want to be bothered by such things, but thought I might mention it anyway, in case you wanted to be bothered. Or something. I fear I ramble. I am a little tired and, like Fly Fishing by JR Hartley, rather old.

I don't really know why I brought that up, other than that you really can't have too much of JR Hartley, can you?
panik: (Not Writing (Hank))
2010-02-24 09:45 am

There is no snow.

Plenty fell in the night, we were getting a proper frightening few inches building up out there when we went off to bed but it's pretty much all melted overnight which is - good, isn't it? When we need to go out tomorrow and the coalman's due and only a day's worth of fuel left in the bunker. So why do I feel so let down by the absence of the tedious cold stuff? What a complex, contrary and thoroughly precious little snowflake I am.

So, we are home (kneels and kisses slightly threadbare Persian rug)! The house is still decidedly chilly but the Aga's lit and after a pleasing log fire last night, warming slowly (though I'm still in my thermals).It's 9.30 and I'm still in my pjs, trying to gear myself up to the rigours of the day but getting the usual first-day-home, post-Dad crash in which I sit on the sofa and stare at the wall and/or ITV4 till teatime.

Hey ho, I must move myself and shower and make the bed and write something, there are novels and TS Fics of Teh Most MASSIVE! Angst to be written, not to mention Real Work (of the sort that pays the bills) to be accomplished.

Maybe mor coffee will help? It has achieved exactly nothing so far this icy morning but I feel it's worth a try. ::nods::
panik: (DW - Love&Peace)
2010-01-01 01:44 pm

So, 2009, aka, Epic Post is Epic.

My Year in retrospect, by gillyp, aged.

Fandom and Fic )Writing )

Reading )Reading )
In general: Life has been a bit rough at times. We’re still doing one week home, one week at Dad’s which is stressful and tiring. Dad is exactly as he was, some days up, some days down (some days very down indeed), it’s become routine really, a bit bothersome. I have to keep reminding myself that in many respects, I have a life that’s pretty good, that many might envy. OK, a bit (very! Oh so very...)  uneventful and dull, but far from arduous and relatively free of pain. I do keep reminding myself of that (but if the Gods are listening, a little more excitement – of the nicer sort - really wouldn’t go amiss in 2010)

So to round off 2009, I’m going to do that first-post, last-post LJ meme and say, have a marvellous 2010 everyone, I think we all deserve a break. Much love to you all, thank you so much, every one of you, for the laughs and the love and for keeping me sane.


My Year on LJ )
panik: (DW - Crazy Pills!)
2009-12-13 04:37 pm

Mad busy.

5 hours editing the novel - you know, the one I thought I'd finished which I printed out and started checking and... oh dear.

Anyway, the tree is up! We are about to embark on the lights. Please pray for us.

And tis the BIRTHDAY of the most-estimable LUICAT! May your year be as gorgeous, as delightful and delicious as your good self, kitten. XXX
panik: (Reality)
2009-10-17 03:00 pm

I really feel I should make a post

I don't seem to do that very often these days but, good people, I honestly have nothing to say!

Re Entanglement: I'm still waiting on the first agent, I'm told that nothing happens during Frankfurt so I'm giving him another week before I'll proffer up a gentle email prod. I am firmly of the opinion that waiting on decisions entirely out of your control is, to paraphrase the immortal Baldrick, a horrid thing.

While I wait, I've started work on a new story - I had 2 going for ages but finally settled on the Entanglement sequel (sorry [personal profile] mrs_tilford !) because the voices told me I had to various blogs seem to be firmly of the opinion that being able to offer sequels greatly ups your chances of publishing and who am I to argue with various blogs?

Anyway, that's all up and running and a very dark tale it's shaping up to be. Very dark indeed (cue the obligatory evil laugh). I actually did some solid, concerted work on that today - progress has been seen to be made. I am not displeased.

Fannish life - is non existent, really. There's nothing new and the old has lost its shine and that part of my life languishes in dusty, cobwebbed neglect. LJ likewise seems quiet as an old, forgotten grave. I don't know if everyone's lost their mojo too, or if you're all lurking in New Fannish Lands in the parts of LJ where I never tread but it's been dead as a rusty shovel round here lately. I've had to turn to Twiter for kicks, people, that can't be right.

I shall throw out some spangled, golden kisses and chocolate-coated delights anyway, for old time's sake. Use them wisely, I shall be testing you on them later. XXX

panik: (Entanglement)
2009-09-16 03:04 pm

Writerly update

46 chapters, 136,303 words, 95% complete.  Only 2 chapters, 8,000 words to finish . Dear god, whatever will I do when it's done? Suggestions on a postcard...

In other news, m'sister just took delivery of a Radio Times from 1st May 1969. So many ads for slimming-aids (and 50/50 featuring men as the dieters which is interesting) and just utterly fascinating. I cannot tear myself away!
panik: (Entanglement)
2009-09-13 04:50 pm
Entry tags:

Quick novelly update.

About to embark on the rewrites of chapter 41 (of 48). Currently the 3rd draft stands at 116,460 words, 78% complete. Lots of repetitive stuff has been excised and a lot of rewriting - the whole thing has taken way, way longer and been much harder work than I anticipated but I can see the light at the end of the tunnel now (said tunnels playing Large Roles in the plot and that so ha ha, well done me)

I'm sort of simultaneously doing a 4th draft in that I'm printing it out as I work and always see loads more editing once it's on the printed page so...

Yeah. Slow. Very (she said tiredly), but coming on. The end is in sight and all that.

Kay, one more chapter then dinner must be cooked and dishes bathed in Fairy Liquid (so that my hands might be soft as my face tho why they'd want to be is a mystery that might never be explained) before that most estimable thesp. Dame Joanna of Lumley pulls her documentary panties on and turns her most serious face to the camera to tell us all sorts of stuff about cats. That cannot be missed, no siree.

Alrightee. Tea, methinks, then ON! (huzah!) with Chapter 41, 'The Sandburg Theory'. :o) Yeah, really. I just couldn't resist.

panik: (Book Critic)
2009-09-05 11:29 am

Flailing with the joy

Of Stephen Fry writing about writing.

And now I must go and be about some of the same. I have set myself the target of 15,000 words a day (These are rewrites, I need to add! Not actual writing, for which 15,000 words a day would be an insane target!) to complete this bloody thing in a week.

I am turning teh internets off. I am sitting down at my laptop with my serious intent face on. I may be gone some time.

panik: (Groovy!)
2009-08-13 10:31 pm

Writerly update and some 70's squee

I've still not finished the 2nd draft, a major disappointment as I was rather hoping to have had the submission ready and have it out to agents this weekend (she laughed in a hollow fashion). It's taking way longer than I'd thought because I keep running into wee holes that need filling so it's been at most, a chapter a day. Only two to go now though but nothing will be done over the weekend as I'm heading in an easterly direction for [ profile] alibongo 's Abigail's Party. An evening of kaftans and platforms, Miner's blue eyeshadow and Blue Nun, Twiglets, Cinzano and bits of cheese and pineapple stuck in a grapefruit, Marc and David and Bootsy Collins. Some Demis Roussos might creep in there too, but no olives (because they'e horrible, aren't they? Nobody likes olives, Lawrence.)

It is going to be awesome. It has to be, how could it not?

And now it's time for cocoa and bed. Sleep tight, shipmates.

panik: (WIP rage)
2009-08-08 09:26 am

Where did the morning go?

Staring at the lappy in dazed confusion, one coffee already consumed, more in the offing I suspect. I'm not sleeping well I never really do when we're at Dad's, too much going on till the wee small hours, too much happening in my head. I tried Horlicks last night but all it did was make me need to get up and pee at 2.30am.

::scratches head::

Where was I? Oh, yeah. Entanglement. I'm 4 chapters from the end of my second draft and on a push to finish by the end of the weekend. Then it's on! with the third draft. In between drafts I'll be attempting to make myself work out a submission for literary agents, the bit I hate most.

Look at that, sun is shining! Oh, and potatoes need to be got from their pot too, also laundry, clean the kitchen and a work out. Oh yeah, it's all thrills, spills and dizzy excitements all the time round here.

OK. Enough with the yapping.

panik: (Entanglement)
2009-08-01 04:24 pm
Entry tags:

The novel.

is going great guns. I'm averaging 3 chapters a day (re-writes! I hasten to add!), just put #38 to bed, ten more to go. No more glaring errors have become apparent in this newer bit (yet ) and I reckon, so long as no more plot holes of the size you saw trams sticking out of during the war (this has happened before!) appear, and I can keep up this killer pace I can have the second draft finished by the end of the week. Then I start on the third and final draft.

I'm already perusing the agencies, thinking about the submission and I feel quite good about this story. I'm reading it and getting that odd creeping feeling in my digestive organs that says, this isn't actually half bad. See my delusions, see them scream...

Anyway, it's shaping up to be around 146,000 words when it's done which is, I reckon, getting on for 500 paperback pages which is quite a mighty tome as tomes go.

Whatever am I going to do with myself when it's done? ;o)

But hey, whatever because it's the WEEKEND! my babies! Let us laugh at the clouds, don bobbly purple bri-nylon Y-fronts and DANCE in the rain for the life, she is short and the rain, never ending so we might as well get used to it. ::waggles Yoda finger. nods sagely:: As for the fic, my writing partner has buggered off north of the border which means I can do what I like to those poor, poor boys for a full seven days! Bwahahahahahahahahahaha!!!

panik: (DW - Psychiatrist's field day)
2009-07-30 02:47 pm

I fear I shall go mad

Although I'm still a few chapters from the end of my second draft, it's coming along steadily and without complications so I thought I'd take a little time over a cup of delightful Viennese coffee (Polish, Lidl, highly recc'd, yum) to research the agencies, see who might be right for this book and have a first crack at writing my submission and a synopsis of the plot.

It's not going well.

The plot is complicated and unusual  to say the very least. Every attempt to précis it so far has been a disaster.  I mean, looking at the latest attempt I see such gems as:

has opened a crack in reality that’s been utilised by the Vicar of St Swithuns to part the living from their souls and unleashed bizarre and unusual terrors on Angel’s sleepy hometown.


All Angel wants is to re-make a life with his wife from another life, now reincarnated as former DCI Matt Kershaw, who thinks Angel has murdered his sister.

Oh dear,  it sounds like the ravings of a mental. I see I must give this more thought. I think I'll go back to just re-writing the chapters for a bit. Much simpler, much less likely to up the BP I think.

Hey ho the nonny O, tis Thursday! and the weekend be nigh. I see Friday approaching off the starboard bow. Up with the moonrakers and cut a steady course to olives and freedom me hearties!
panik: (Entanglement)
2009-07-19 05:46 pm

Ooh look! It's a Writerly Update!

It's a while since I did one of these. Don't worry, just a quickie.

Decimated. The fic I'm writing with the adorably sexy, massively talented [ profile] fluterbev is now almost 13,000 words long, a constant joy to write and read and continuing to fill me with the most evil glee.

Entanglement. The second draft well underway now. I'm calling the process an 'edit', though it seems to be constantly growing rather than diminishing. It's acquired 3 new chapters already and it's not even half way through yet. 19 of 50(?) chapters put to bed, 69,275 words.

And that's it. See, that wasn't too painful was it? Top Gear tonight! My loins are freshly girded, my happy trousers clean and ironed, early cocoa and school in the morning...

I'm so sorry, I fear I have gone mad.
panik: (DW - Drums)
2009-07-17 04:05 pm

omg i can't wait for this to come out!

No embed. Here be linky.

It's FRIDAY! It is, isn't it? I'm still working on me book at the moment, just stopped for a reviving double-latte + chocolate (yes, I did need that much caffeine). Book's coming on, I'd like to finish chapter 17 before I crack open the cheese and olives and walnut bread and cock my snook at the rain.

As you were. We shall, no doubt, speak later.

Oooh. A blackbird just suddenly started singing. Has the rain stopped then? (answer, no)

panik: (Genius - Goons)
2009-07-03 09:32 pm

This is a joy...

and bringeth succour to all prevaricators.

Mark and I had an exchange of views inspired by watching the highly animated Alan Haven in The Music of Lennon and McCartney
Got worms from the look of it, poor chap
Is that what happens when you get worms, go ape shit crazy on a Hammond organ?
Or piles.
Must’ve been sitting on a cold step. You’d think his mother would know better than to let him.

Gosh, the flare on that guitar is so nostalgic, you don't see black and white, 405 line weirdness like that these days, deed you don't. Marianne Faithfull looks exactly like Marina off Stingray, she even moves her head like there are strings attached. I'm on a mid-sixties thing now and feel the sudden need to watch Tomb of the Cybermen, or maybe Bedazzled - the real one, not that thing with Brendon thingy and whatserface.

No, I haven't been drinking even though it is FRIDAY! my darling dearios. May it shine like a great shiny orb for you all. Permission to blow kisses!. XXX

panik: (Boosh - Moon (no sun))
2009-07-01 01:45 pm

It's too hot.

Can we be returned to our regular weather now please?

Thank you.

Been to Matalan. Pjs and t shirts have been achieved (and OMG! pink!) also sweat pants for the necessary work out and other sundry unexciting things. Got a nice big coffee mug for £2. I like Matalan, it takes the misery out of clothes and household shopping ::nods::

So. Currently feeding and watering myself prior to tackling the new, shiny chapter ten of the novel and a chapter of  Decimated, the fic I'm writing with the everso nicely naughty [ profile] fluterbev . I must press on, I have been terribly remiss on the writing front of late.

Have some midweek love you naughty doxies. XXX

panik: (Withnell & I)
2009-06-19 12:31 pm

It's Friday!

It's five O' Clock and it's Crackerjack! half past twelve and I've not put a finger to a keyboard yet.

Been busy. Been buying a new - well, new to us, refurbished, blue! - Aga from a very nice boy with a very noice aksent from Hereford and trying not to have nightmares over the £££. ::wibble::

Also been dealing with British Gas Plummer Man! Our Hero! Yes, whenever pipes are broken, or menaced by international communism, British Gas Plummer Man is ready and yes indeedy! He has fixed our hot water pressure problems and hot water is again flowing from the taps! No longer is showering more akin to standing under a slightly leaky gutter! I can has proper shower once mo!

Anyway, all that means no writing done yet but hey ho the nonny. I cock my shiny weekend snook at work for a bit and settle in for a little early cheese in the shape of this deliciously runny Camembert and a peach or two. There is more cheese for later in the attractively curvy shape of a ripe (very!) Reblochon, and wine (a Chilean Chardonnay Semillion ) and olives too, for it is FRIDAY! after all. The sun may not be shining but that means I don't have to go out and do workly things in the garden. The weekend forecast is for SUN. I have the wine, I'm up for that.

Right. Well. That's about it really. I'm hoping to bang out a couple of chapters of Moonridge fic Decimated this weekend. Otherwise, just presing on with the second draft of Entanglement which is coming on rather well. I've written a whole new chapter to ease the progress of the plot that actually had some laughs in it! I'm up to chapter 10 (of an est 50), 36,000 words completed. A long way to go yet. I'm also in the process of setting up a blog for the novel, of which more when it's ready to bear its bottom to the cold, cruel world.

Well, that's it I suppose. Carry on my darlings, I'm sure you're all doing very well.